Petal Play!

Wanna get the biggest bang for your buck on those beautiful fresh cut flowers your husband bought you? Or that you asked your husband to buy you? Or that you bought for yourself? I used to feel a bit wistful when wilting began, but then I discovered the wonder of petal play! From cutting and dissecting to tearing and crushing and grinding with a mortar and pestle to drying and crumbling and mixing into doughs or tea parties or making petal soup or petal potions... The options for play are as limitless as the imagination. You can certainly make use of flowers found in nature when the season permits, but definitely be sure to pick only ones that are OK for picking! You can also inquire at local florists or garden shops about whether they have any flowers or loose petals on the move list--some will be happy to donate these to a classroom or home.





And then, just add wonder, curiosity, imagination and play! Here, for your viewing (and reading) pleasure, is the story of some rose and tulip petals that happily lived a full life (and even a second, third and fourth life)...

First, we plucked and cut the heads off of the best looking flowers that remained. We collected them in a couple of our wooden mortar and pestle sets. I especially like using wooden ones with kids since the ceramic ones can break and these are pretty sturdy and lightweight. You can often find them in stores like Home Goods or TJMaxx quite inexpensively and occasionally at a thrift store if you're lucky!



The first stop on the Petal Express was into a batch of playdough. Yes, folks, that's Spiderman rolling out a petal playdough pancake in our backyard...nothing particularly out of the ordinary in this house!






Meanwhile at the picnic table...

It was nearly time for Afternoon Tea. In addition to leftover petals on the move list, we also had a meyer lemon about to be composted. But--alas, one more stop to make along with some tea bags, water, and only the loveliest (secondhand) dishes and utensils...

Yes, folks, that's Spiderman and a Ninja Turtle serving Afternoon Tea in the backyard. Nothing to see here, keep it moving...

Well that was fun!
But wait...
.
.
.
.
.




Still more petals left for play...

Perfect for a Friday afternoon tea party for two most eager Cabbage Patch dolls.

I wonder if my husband knows when he picks out flowers for me that even as I am clipping the stems and arranging them in a vase or two, I'm already envisioning what we're going to play with them in a couple of weeks when they've worn out their dining room table welcome!

Probably he does...

Maybe it's time for another bouquet?

But until then...(and even especially after)...

Happy Playing!

Three Great Purim Activities You Can Take Outside!

If costumes inside are fun, imagine
costumes outside at the park!

Today we're going to Get Outside And...PURIM! If this holiday isn't enough fun already, let's take it to the park (or backyard). In fact, that is exactly what we did in our most recent outdoor playgroup event--a Purim Popup Play at the Park. And the best parts about these activities is that you can do them outside or indoors, many of the materials needed are likely in (or outside of) your home, and they can be adapted for year round use.

1. Stick Puppets

Stick Puppet created by
a three year old!

Puppetry is a great way to retell the story of Purim for young children. You can make Purim puppets in a number of ways, but I particularly love using nature's loose parts when I can and sticks are a fabulous loose part. Send your puppeteers on a search for the perfect stick! All you'll need to add to the mix are any loose craft parts you have on hand (we used google eyes, fabric scraps, pipe cleaners, some wool roving and a handful of buttons, gems and sequins). Now here's the one material I can't sing the praises of enough: nontoxic gel medium. I can't believe I made it 35 years before I found out about this! Found in the painting/acrylics section of craft supply stores or online, this works with all the power of a hot glue gun and none of the heat! It is worth the investment as kids can glue loose parts together without the frustration of them falling off while it sets. It takes a very small amount to work and it dries clear. I like to use condiment containers with lids to transport it to the park (or any small dish/piece of cardboard inside) and a craft stick to apply it. Let the kids have at it and design their puppets. They will surely tell some great versions of the Purim story and many other stories to come.

The storytelling continues at home. S is manning
my Stick Puppet and Y is donning a hand dyed cape!

2. Hand Dyed Capes Capes are for more than just superheroes. Wizards, fairies, royalty and just kids who need to fly a little faster might need a cape from time to time. And hand dyeing your own is so fun (and easy)! 

You will need:

• white flour sack dish cloths (sold in bulk at Walmart or similar stores or even online--even better if you happen to have some stained ones in your kitchen stash that need to be upcycled)
• liquid watercolor or food coloring or fabric dye (I used liquid watercolors--I am not sure how permanent they will be upon washing so for a permanent dye stick to ones intended for fabric)
• water to dilute dye
• pipettes (I bought in bulk on Amazon)
• glass jars or cups to fill with/transport your dyes
• foil pans or similar item to work within
• smocks to cover clothing

The children had so much fun dropping bits of color across the fabric. I separated warm and cool colors initially for the children so they would blend without turning brown, but even those who chose to mix all six colors I provided (red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple) came up with gorgeous results! If you're outdoors, hang or drape your capes to air dry. Once dry, they can be tied around the shoulders as a cape. They also make fabulous doll blankets, picnic blankets, and whatever else your little ones may come up with.

If you are hosting a park party and need to send these home still damp, I'd recommend having a plastic bag on hand for each family.

3. Invitation to Dress Up Peg Dolls in Playdough Costumes

Wooden peg dolls are great for storytelling and small world play. They are a great way to retell the Purim story as well. Many times, we use wooden peg dolls or peg clothespins for permanent crafts, but in this fun playdough invitation, the crafting is temporary. Costumes are created using playdough in a variety of colors and small loose craft parts. I also like to set out some cookie cutters in various sizes, rolling pins and plastic knives. There are so many ways to play and it is quite fun to dress, undress and dress again the little wooden dolls. You can easily send a little gift package home with this as well by slipping a couple of peg dolls and party sized playdough containers in a bag to go.

This little 2 year old had so much fun dressing up his peg dolls that he decided he needed a costume to wear as well and visited our giant laundry sack of costumes to choose the perfect jester's hat for the occasion!

S created costumes by rolling out the dough and wrapping it around each peg. He told me the one in pink is Queen Esther and the one in green is her uncle, Mordechai.

Whether you take these out to the park, to your own backyard, or inside, I hope they get everyone into the Purim spirit! We are so excited for the upcoming holiday here and are counting down the days until it begins next Monday night!

Until then...

Happy Playing!

Get Outside ANYWAY: It's Pouring, It's Raining and We're Not Complaining!

In the three years I have run my outdoor playgroup, I have preached the importance of getting outside ANYWAY. There's no bad weather, the old Scandinavian proverb boasts--there's only inappropriate clothing. And for my own little brood, we are pretty all-weather players. We go out in warm, in cold, in sun, in rain, in wind, dark, you name it, we've played in it (barring dangerously inclement conditions). Puddle jumping is not an activity reserved for "special occasions;" a puddle is already call for a special occasion! Children, like their clothing, can be washed and dried. But when it comes to my outdoor events, I've always cancelled, postponed or relocated indoors for rainy weather because--gasp--what if nobody comes?!

S named this our "Rain Forest"

But yesterday was Tu B'Shevat, the Jewish celebration of the "new year" of the trees. And it was raining. Not even just a little. A lot. No one says, celebrate the trees only if it's sunny! In fact, in the dead of winter here, very rarely is it going to be a "beautiful day in the neighborhood" on Tu B'Shevat. And do you want to know what was happening in Jerusalem yesterday on Tu B'Shevat? SNOW! I had some great activities planned for my playgroup and it would have been very easy to just postpone or cancel--but yesterday I decided to walk my talk. Yesterday I decided the show must go on! And instead of changing the date, I changed the activity and decided that if nobody else came, at least I could stop being afraid of nobody else coming. Spoiler alert: people still came! And we had the whole park to ourselves...well, us and the trees and a lone squirrel.

I have written a slew of articles here on rainy day activities to do indoors, but today I am starting the first in what I hope will be a slew of articles on playing outdoors in the rain. Rain play is so incredibly fun. Instantly, your space is filled with two of children's very favorite loose parts: mud and water! As adults, we can have a lot of rainy day baggage. My best advice on rain play is to travel light, so let's unpack some of those bags today and get you on your way outside ANYWAY.

Fiction: Playing in the rain will make you sick.
Fact: Playing outdoors in the rain or cold will not, in fact make a person sick. Adequate clothing and protection is necessary for comfort. Keeping an eye on younger children who may not be able to communicate if they are cold or uncomfortable as well is important. But children and clothing dry. Healthy habits indoors and outside are the best way to stay healthy. With some planning and preparation, everyone (even you) can be comfortable and have fun--even while you're wet!

New favorite location to read Tap The Magic Tree by Christie Matheson--so great to see older siblings reading to the younger ones and this book is fabulous for that!

Fiction: The children will not like playing in the rain.
Fact: It might be time that I gently hold up a mirror. A mirror to you and a mirror to me. Children often respond to what the adult reflects. What are your feelings about the rain? Now I want you to think of a time you liked the rain. If you are like me and many others, that time was in your youth! If you were berated for jumping in a puddle or getting muddy, your feelings likely changed. If you were around other people who complained about getting wet or rainy days, your feelings likely changed. If you continuously heard and associated rain with "bad weather" or "not a good day to go outside," your feelings likely changed. What if you reflected a different attitude toward rain play? I will honestly say that for me this involved some "faking it till making it" on my part, because like so many others, I have some rainy day baggage. It is true that some children will have hesitance and/or discomfort in rain play for a variety of reasons--physical, sensory, intuited from others, etc.--and with planning, patience, sensitivity and creativity, these can be overcome! (So can yours.)

testing the trajectory of a stick dropped in a puddle

definitely a fan of rain play

Fiction: The parents of the children in my care will not want them to play outside in the rain.
Fact: Some parents may have hesitance and concerns about this. It is important to know your why and to be ready to defend it! For sure, you want to adhere to best practices and also be respectful of the families you work with if you are in a care-giving or teaching role. Engaging parents in preparing for all-weather outdoor play so that the children are set up with everything they need and explaining how your program will work in regard to outdoor play goes a long way in supporting the effort to get outside ANYWAY.

Here are some tips for that planning and preparation, whether it is for your own family or other children in your care:

• Have a dry change of clothes ready in your car, home or classroom. In a classroom, I'd suggest 2 or more. Include yourself here!
• Have dry towels and blankets available in your car, home or classroom.
• Waterproof rain gear can really aid in everyone's comfort. I'd suggest some or all of the following: rain boots/shoes, waterproof pants or suits, raincoats, ponchos, rain hats and/or umbrellas. If you are running a program or working in a school/daycare, it can be helpful to have parents bring/send these in ahead of time to remain on site. In my mobile program, I come with some child sized and adult sized "disposable" rain ponchos just in case. Plastic bags go a long way in a pinch--honestly, some recycled grocery bags over your shoes and a trash bag with a hole cut for a head to go through really will keep someone dry! It's not a fashion contest, folks.
• Areas of "shelter" can be helpful in the rain. Your shelter can be permanent (like a covered deck) or temporary (like a pop up tent or tunnel) or even mobile (like umbrellas or a rain fort!). Trees are great shelter from the elements, so think like an animal, bird or bug, and seek your shelter there!
• Travel light and travel waterproof. If you are mobile like I am or even just headed out to the yard or playground with stuff in tow, for once, plastic is your friend. I use a collapsible wagon to haul my load. For my activities and materials, 2 gallon ziplock bags are great. The activities done outdoors in the rain are also going to be different than usual, as they, too, will need to be waterproof. Paper activities and resources can be laminated. Books or other weather sensitive materials that will be used under covered areas can be stored and carried in plastic bins or bags that seal.

Fiction: There's nothing to do outside in the rain!
Fact: There's a LOT you can do outside in the rain. In fact, if it's your first time exploring rain play, I encourage you not to plan too much. Get to know your environment. Let the children get to know it. This is a whole new world of play and wonder!

For our event yesterday, I wanted to keep the theme tree related. Trees are such amazing sources of shelter in the rain that I decided building and using shelters would be a great take-along. I brought a pop-up tunnel and play tent. I also brought a few dollar store plastic shower curtains, bungee cords and clothes pins. We built a makeshift rain fort using these materials and some very helpful trees. The children helped as well. Older ones liked the designing aspect and connecting materials with bungee cords and clothespins. Younger ones enjoyed handing off supplies as needed. And everyone enjoyed playing, hiding and reading inside!

Y is determined to find everything in our scavenger hunt game...

We also had a fun Parts of a Tree Scavenger Hunt Game I made and brought. To make the game fun and accessible for all ages (pre-readers included) i used photos of leaves, bark, seeds/cones/pods/nuts, twigs and branches, animals and birds who live in/near trees, fruits/berries that grow on trees and roots. I laminated the photos and punched a hole in the corner of each one to store it on a metal ring. The kids ranging in age from 2-tween all had a great time searching for and finding just about everything! We didn't see any fruits or berries at our park and it took a while before S discovered our lone squirrel running for shelter under a tree.

I honestly did not know how my own kids would do in the rain. The boys are almost always game to jump in a puddle, but intentionally going outside and staying outside in the rain is somewhat novel and especially so in the cooler months of the year (although yesterday was quite mild here). I was sure to keep my own attitude and outlook positive. I took it slow and took my time. There was no need to rush and no need to push. And you know what? The only whining was when it was time to leave! (Well, except a few extra whines from Y about sharing the tunnel, wanting help to climb up a bouncy toy on the playground and umbrella frustrations...) And C? She was a pig in mud! Literally at some points!

I'll have more rain play activities for you soon. In the meantime, here's a great resource from The Empowered Educator on encouraging outdoor rain play.  I travel light in the rain, but I definitely still made room for a copy of the free e-book and my laminated poster! Got rain? Get outside ANYWAY! And as always...

An amazing view of roots. Can you spot a stick in Y's favorite letter?

Happy Playing!

Get Outside ANYWAY: Balancing Caution and Confidence, Part 2

After completing my post on Part 1 of Balancing Caution and Confidence , I had one more question for my Facebook Hive-mind: What kind of outdoor leader are you? Are you a hovering helicopter or a free-range adventurist?
The responses spanned the nation, life stage, came from both females and males and included a variety of career, geographical, and social backgrounds. I particularly loved the response below from one friend of mine who is a mother of children ranging from school aged to adulthood and now a grandmother as well.

" I live in Alaska. I am a city slicker by nature and a helicopter parent when it comes to little kids outside... But I have been careful to not instill in them a sense of fear. One of them, my most princess-y of all daughters is now a United States Marine! Another one is an agriculture teacher in the wilds of Tennessee. Several do triathlons. One of my sons is a distance runner. They did not get this way because I made them fearful! I made them aware.

I tell you all of this because you can be cautious while not creating fear. I suppose that I was more of a scout of a parent? I would come up with projects to teach the kids. All the while being aware and telling them why we needed to make noise. We would play games, what would we do if we saw a bear? What would we do if we saw a baby moose in front of us and realized that the momma moose was behind us? O look! Cow parsnip-- this is why we wear pants and long socks!"

You can be cautious without creating fear is probably a line that will follow me into the woods with my kids forever more!

Here were some of the other responses:

" Free range constantly borderline crazy but the creativity from my boys has been awesome- homemade zip line/ self made tree house they take great chances and succeed."

"Free range for sure. I want my kids to explore and discover the world with freedom. As long as they’re in the gate and I’ve got an eye out."

"Free range. "Please don't come to me unless you're bleeding."

"5 kids ago, I was a Class A hoverer! I’ve gotten older, more mellow - and more tired - now. And the twins definitely benefit from my (slightly!) more free range-ish style."

"Free rangish. Within reason today kids had to wear life vests when on boat, or know how to recognize poison ivy, etc."

"Free range. 

First rule of boys is: don't look."

"If its a contained field free range, if not I hover."--the mom....and the dad: "I mean sometimes we need to use leashes and tranq guns but we are raising a shark, a bear, a cat, and a lion"

" Free range unless we are in an unknown place where I don't know all the potential dangers, then I hover but at a distance."

" Free range! If you don’t fall you don’t learn and grow."

Here's what I take away from it: two categories was not enough. I am personally a Distant Hoverer. I feel best being vigilant from afar. And while we must travel light on the trail, it's important to carry with us an adequate supply of caution and sense of humor. Those most prone toward hovering still see and value the importance of outdoor play being an opportunity for space, trial and error, problem solving and confidence/competence building. And those most prone toward standing back and enjoying the show still take precautions whether it's protective gear, a vigilant eye, an enclosed area or the ability and knowledge to identify potential dangers in nature. And another very important idea surfaced: how does our own behavior and demeanor outdoors affect the children in our care?

The Darker Side of Caution: Fear

Everyone is afraid of something. Some of us are afraid of many things! When it comes to children, fears are a natural part of development. Some are longer lived than others. Some are "logical." Some are not. Some can be explained or experienced away. Others may last a lifetime. I asked the group to tap in on their own children's fears outdoors:

"My kids now? The 16 yo who wants to be a doctor rages, "You really need a concealed weapons permit if we are out here. What if we see a bear?" (I give my kids my keys. They just need to run faster than me. We go to peopled areas, low risk, but I think ahead.)

When they were all younger, they were loud, "WHAT DO WE DO IF WE SEE A BEAR? HAHAHAHA! I'D RUN LIKE THIS... [demo maniacal run]"

"I JUST NEED TO RUN FASTER THAT ALL OF YOU AND I AM! HAHA"

We spoke of real scenarios and all but one, the one who wants to repair people, handled their fears with humour. (They were so loud the wild life would leave us alone.)

We spoke of dangers of hypothermia and they stayed away from going more that 5 steps into lakes, and were just intelligent on bridges, etc., and we stuck together."

"Bugs and dogs not on leashes."

"Bees are really their only fear. We have taught them how to calmly walk away and that only wasps are the ones to really fear and that honey and bumblebees are our friends. Considering bees are a huge fear of mine that is one I struggle with as well."

Childhood fears evolve and fluctuate throughout life. Some are developed through experience, some through lack of experience, some through exposure and some inherited (whether by nature, nurture, or a combination of the two). 

Both S and Y have their own fears. Some come and go quickly and some last a while. S used to be very afraid of dogs and now is far less so. Y is not afraid of dogs and needs to be reminded he must ask before he pets one. Y sometimes fears uneven terrain outdoors, likely because his vision makes it harder to navigate. Nonetheless, he is very creative in navigating these spaces and while at times he may cry and ask to hold a hand, other times, he will crouch and bend his knees and bounce his way down a slippery and muddy hill independently. 

S has grown into quite the young naturalist. He is wholly himself outdoors. And while he is prone to more of a nervous nature overall, outside is usually a place that inspires self confidence. So a few weeks ago when some sort of bug crawled up his shirt and supposedly bit his tummy (I looked and saw an ant but not evidence of a bite), and he became paralyzed with fear and wanted to leave the park, I was ready to support him but also concerned about his response. We sat together, took deep breaths, talked and sometimes just sat in silence. Again and again as he thought about the incident, he would become overwhelmed again with fear at just remembering it. 

I am cautious in my language about fear with children. I do not like the words "that's not scary" or "don't be scared" when talking to children about fear. For them, in this moment, it is scary and they are scared. S once coined the phrase "I'm scared and brave," and it's one we still use. The language I use is "it feels very scary and you are safe." We did eventually make our way home from the park. S later wanted to talk about the ant and he began to refer to it (and still does) as "The Bug That Surprised Me."

Fast forward to the following week when we attended a group hike with our local chapter of Free Forest School. S, who had been in several outdoor locations since The Bug That Surprised Him suddenly remembered the incident while we were there and decided he felt safest to stand on our picnic blanket. And not move. Maybe not even ever. Again, I tried not to be reactive to this. The mom in me felt so sad for the level of loss he would experience if he truly stopped being able to be outside and feel secure. And the child still in me also knew that fears come and fears go and right now S was safe on the dinosaur blanket, but he would somehow, someday get off and keep going. And sure enough that day came on the same day at about noon when it was time for us to go. S didn't want to get off the blanket. He didn't want to walk back. (He didn't see the ants crawling on the blanket either, phew!) So I held his hand to step off the blanket as I shook it out and folded it up. And we started to walk back. He wanted to go slowly, I said that was fine. And slowly, slowly we walked. He was scared. He had to stop a lot. Y was picking up on the fear signals and also started crying. And I started singing a little scavenger hunt on our walk, wearing C, lamenting the sweat dripping into my eyes and hoping my own parental angst wasn't pouring out with it.

We found a brown leaf. A green leaf. A big rock. A little stick. We talked about cold, hard facts and evidence. Yes, there was a Bug That Surprised You at the park last week. But this is not that park. And we also went to that park a number of other times and no Surprising Bugs happened at those times. The bug was surprising and it was scary and remembering something scary can make you feel scared all over again. You are safe. I am here and look, what do you know, we made it to the car!

I didn't go on and on about how proud I was of him (I was, though, because honestly if anyone could stand on a dinosaur blanket maybe forever, it would be S), but I did point out that he seemed pretty proud of himself. And in the car on our drive back, we talked some more about the best way to feel better about feeling afraid: get confident. Confidence comes when we try something that feels really hard and experience success. That day, confidence came when S experienced a really hard emotion and walked right through it. And one week later, he went back to Forest School, got off that blanket, into the creek and squealed so loudly with joy and pride it literally echoed through the forest.

I am a big believer in being honest with children. I'm not the one to say a shot won't hurt or that it won't hurt to take a splinter out. I'm not going to tell them that bugs never bite or that there's no poison ivy in the woods. Honesty is important. I am also a human who carries her own fears, both rational and irrational. One of my greatest worries is that I will impart my worries onto my kids! It is an area of constant vigilance, awareness and growth for me. I talk to my kids about the things I used to be afraid of and am no longer. I find it a little harder to talk to them about the things I'm still afraid of or newly afraid of. 

And yet, being outdoors with my children has provided a venue where we can all stretch out of those comfort zones. Risky play is all about navigating those boundaries of being just a little bit scared and still being safe. And while getting out there is half the battle, the narrative we build around these experiences also matters greatly. Every person's threshold is different. There's no right ratio of helicoptering to free-ranging and truly these are extremes we need to constantly assess and balance again and again, whether it's over the course of a year or even a day. We do need to be cautious; we do not need to be afraid. We do want opportunities for building competence in outdoor experience because we know that this builds confidence in all areas of life, in and outside four walls and a roof. The language we use, the energy we impart, the reactions we have--all matter. Most children inherently have good "risk assessment" skills and won't try something that is beyond their comfort (ergo ability) level. Some will. Know your audience. Know their boundaries and limitations and know your own. More and more I try to build a narrative around outdoor play for my own children and myself and even for the friends and families we meet with in my nature based playgroup that is positive and encouraging. It takes effort to learn a new language, but I love some of the phrases in this list from Backwoods Mama. Fostering awareness and building problem solving skills are lifelong processes; the outdoors is a fabulous venue for working on it.

I have a saying when it comes to my experiences outdoors (and inside for that matter) with my kids: Different day, different adventure. One benefit to visiting the same outdoor spaces again and again is the ability to see that in action. My own sense of balance when it comes to caution and confidence is a work in progress. It is my hope that this makes me more compassionate and patient as my children navigate this as well. 

So different day, different adventure. What will you do differently tomorrow or the next time you head outside with kids? What works well for you now? How did your own early experiences build the narrative that follows you today as you hit the trail and how will your own narrative shape that of your children's? What would you change? What would you keep the same? One thing is for sure, I'll be outside ANYWAY and you can find me hovering from a distance...

Happy Playing!

Get Outside ANYWAY: Balancing Caution and Confidence, Part 1

I was at a birthday party the other day, chatting with some other moms when the topic of cute kid foods came up. Everything tastes better on a stick, just go to any county fair and prove me wrong. "I just saw an idea to make grape popsicles. You just freeze grapes and stick a toothpick in," I began, and then as I thought about it, I added "and then your kid can poke his eye out and choke on a grape at the same time." Risk assessment is an inherent part of parenting and working with children. Safety is a factor we must address in any space, in any moment and in every decision. Within the confines of four walls and a roof, we can imagine that we have some level of control over that and indeed, we implement a variety of tools to "childproof" these spaces. But what happens when those walls and roof are behind us? What happens when we take our children outdoors into nature?

"Put down that stick!"

"Don't talk to strangers!"

"Don't walk up the slide!"

"You need to drink water or you'll get dehydrated!"

"Don't drink too much or you'll have to pee!"

"Bees can sting!"

"You'll get a sunburn!"

"Don't pet that dog!"

"No climbing on rocks!"

"No throwing the sand!"

"Be careful!"

When I started to think about this topic, I imagined writing one post on the issue, but I think it's worthy of more and we will still barely scratch the surface! One of the greatest barriers we all face outdoors for ourselves and as we lead our children is the issue of safety. Indeed, ideas around safety in our society have changed the face of outdoor play altogether. Gone are the days of playing unaccompanied around most neighborhoods. Gone are the days of my own childhood of playing unaccompanied even in a fenced in backyard. It is rare that I drive through suburban neighborhoods where we live and see children playing in front yards or riding bikes on the street. If and when I do, they are nearly always accompanied by an adult.

Even the landscape of nature spaces has changed.

Here I am wearing leather boots,
a pencil skirt, a sheitel (wig)
 and a baby S, hiking up a gosh darn
mountain. Not because I planned to,
but because we googled a "park"
and this is where we ended up. It was
the scariest hike of my life and one
of the most confidence building
experiences as well.

Parks are carefully and intricately designed. Much of children's experience outside is likely on a playground. The surfaces are often synthetic, to cushion falls. The equipment is often designed and labeled with age ranges in mind. Plastics have replaced much of the metal or wooden equipment that playgrounds were constructed of when I was small. No more burning your tush on the slide on a summer day and no more splinters from climbing up the stairs to the top of the castle. Gates surround most playgrounds, some even have childproof locks.

When you know more, you do more. We know more about safety and children than we once did. Take car seats for instance. We also live in a day and age with new and emerging concerns that perhaps were not relevant even 10 or 20 years ago. How has this affected nature play for our growing generation? And how has it affected our own view of being outdoors? In an effort to protect ourselves and our children from danger, have we hijacked a vital experience in developing the skills needed to assess whether something is dangerous or not?

In preparing this post, I asked my Facebook Hive-mind the following questions:

• Which is safer? Indoor or outdoor play?
• What is your outdoor leadership style? Helicopter or free range leader?
• What do you worry about outdoors?
• What do you feel confident about outdoors?

In the past two weeks alone, I came across a variety of interesting articles on the topic. I think it is telling that these themes are coming up in social networking groups just as the school year begins. For some children, that might mean a significant decrease in outdoor time, while for others it may actually mean an increase in nature based opportunities. One article put out by the CBC is titled "It's Never Been Safer For Kids to Play Outside or More Dangerous to Be Inside." The author (based in Canada) sites that children are sedentary for roughly 7.5 hours a day. From a physical health standpoint, the article continues on to address the concerns of a sedentary, indoor lifestyle and the benefits of nature based risky play for physical health and development.

Author and nature activist, Richard Louv is another powerful voice behind the topic and if you've not yet read it, I highly recommend his book Last Child in the Woods. In it, he says:

"Our society is teaching young people to avoid direct experience in nature. That lesson is delivered in schools, families, even organizations devoted to the outdoors, and codified into the legal and regulatory structures of many of our communities. Our institutions, urban/suburban design, and cultural attitudes unconsciously associate nature with doom—while disassociating the outdoors from joy and solitude. Wellmeaning public-school systems, media, and parents are effectively scaring children straight out of the woods and fields. In the patent-or-perish environment of higher education, we see the death of natural history as the more hands-on disciplines, such as zoology, give way to more theoretical and remunerative microbiology and genetic engineering. Rapidly advancing technologies are blurring the lines between humans, other animals, and machines. The postmodern notion that reality is only a construct—that we are what we program—suggests limitless human possibilities; but as the young spend less and less of their lives in natural surroundings, their senses narrow, physiologically and psychologically, and this reduces the richness of human experience."


I believe that caution and confidence are two sides of the same coin. What exactly are we supposed to do from here? It is not realistic to simply ignore the factors that do make aspects of outdoor play risky and even dangerous. In fact, it is negligent. And restricting the experience altogether is also risky and potentially negligent. I think when it comes to assessing a situation like this, it's best to begin with what it is we are most afraid of with the goal in mind of striking some sort of balance. Here are some of the responses I received when asking which is safer--indoor or outdoor play?

"Define safe. Define the parameters of play." was one response I got and it speaks volumes. I personally attribute some of the fear mentality toward outdoor play to not having these boundaries clearly defined and the fact that they mean different things for different people. Even the structural changes to nature spaces and outdoor play experiences are dictated by how adults view and define both safety and play.

Take a few snapshots from the standard public park scenario, for instance:

Most public parks have a playground based on the belief that in order to play children need this equipment. Playground equipment has a lot of potential benefits:

• Children can work and develop a variety of skills including gross motor and muscle strength development, social skills in peer interactions, building self confidence, spacial awareness and more.
• Safety features like shaded and covered areas, synthetic turf, and age range recommendations can prevent injuries.

Some potential downfalls include:

• Playgrounds typically provide equipment with a single function. There is less likelihood to engage in creative and abstract play and potentially less likelihood to engage with natural materials found outdoors.
• Safety features can provide a "false sense of security" about falls and injuries that can occur. Children who engage in risky play like jumping off of high equipment won't necessarily learn what happens when you jump off a high surface if they land on a cushioned surface below them.

Well, since I am me, I usually answer a question with a question, and I let my friend give her own definitions of play and safety:

Safe to me implies less risk of physical injury.
Play often is used to mean lightly supervised recreation within a specific area and often with provided materials.

With those definitions in mind, indoor would be safer.

But risks are way more fun.

Yes, the risks are fun! And while I can remember creating my own risky play scenarios indoors (think a set of carpeted stairs and bean bag chairs...) as well as outside (think "skiing" down my backyard hill on a plastic saucer sled into the woodpile at the bottom), there are documented benefits to this type of play. One benefit is the skill of risk assessment, or a child's ability to navigate their personal and physical as well as environmental limitations. That involves all kinds of problem solving and critical thinking skills! And while I do not condone staircase surfing or backyard saucer skiing, I did live to tell about them both. (Also, don't tell my parents I did this if you happen to see them....)

Here are some more responses from my friends. The group includes parents in all stages, educators, a school principal, folks with children who have special needs, and respondents range geographically across the nations from the east coast to the west coast and even Alaska:

"Bubble wrap and tv watching. 
It's not about safety. It's about trusting your body in space." 

"Should 'safe' be the lead guiding determinant in play? A friend of mine (with children much younger than my own) does something that really impresses me...when her then-toddler boys were playing, and doing something that could result in injury (something that makes a mom inclined to say 'careful!) she would ask them, 'what could happen?'. This encouraged them to stop and think, do a risk assessment (she often helped with this part) and then let them decide for themselves. (She also kept bandages in her purse.)"

" I feel like outdoor play (in areas away from roads) is safer for my extremely energetic 4.5 year old. He needs space to run and jump and he just can't do it inside without breaking something!"

And then it was time to talk about what exactly we were afraid of outdoors...responses poured in, including the following, which I've broken down into categories:

Stranger Danger, Busy Streets, Running Away and Getting Lost:
"My kids running off with a stranger with a cute puppy."

"I never go to isolated areas. I would take the kids at busy times."

"That my kids will run into the street."

Stranger danger was a pop phrase of my own childhood. We had a secret family password in case someone other than my parents came to pick us up from school. We grew into latch key kids but the front door was always locked and we had a home alarm system. One night early into this phase, the alarm was set to motion detection by mistake. When the alarm went off, my sister (then 11) and I (7) panicked. The police arrived but we'd been told never to open the door for a stranger and we did not believe with confidence that the police officer was for sure a police officer and not a "stranger" in disguise. Faces on the backside of our chocolate milk cartons had created a fear that was larger than life, but I don't think I could have even defined what a "stranger" was. 

In many ways, I feel the "danger" has increased now with the advances in technology, social networking, camera phones and more. And while my firstborn gave me false confidence in my ability to keep track of my own offspring my second-born has a habit of elopement. Not long enough ago, I lost sight of him at our botanical garden center. I was not on my phone, I didn't even realize I was distracted at all. He was right next to me and then he wasn't. I put on my best "calm" persona and started looking. I was afraid he'd gone into the water he was so curious about the week before. I was afraid someone might have found him and would judge me harshly or even worse that someone might have found him who was not safe. It was no longer than 5 minutes. I walked by him no fewer than 5 times. Why? Because I had told my children if they ever got lost to stop and stay in one place and wait for me to find them. I had not told them to also call "Mommy! Mommy!" until I found them. There were no cute puppies that day, but there was a picnic table Y had never sat in before and there he sat, looking quite guilty and just a little bit scared until I got there.

Wouldn't it be safer to just put them in strollers? Or on a leash? I'm not lost in the mall today because I was put on a leash. But did this give me a false sense of security and fail to give me an opportunity to learn how to stay by my adults? At the end of the day, I think you must do what you must do as a parent and for your child's well being. I have not put Y on a leash or restricted him to a stroller at this point. I also no longer use the words "I will never" when it comes to parenting decisions. Right now, I have a chant I use: "all hands on deck!" and my boys will come and hold my hand or the stroller that C is in. If that stops working, I'll go to plan B...

And indeed, on the other side of the stranger danger coin is the perspective that today's children lack the skills to assess "stranger safety" since they are rarely or never exposed to life opportunities in which this issue might come up. Do our children have the skills to navigate a scenario in which they are in a crowded public place or a location in which they could become separated from their family or group? Milk cartons have been replaced by Facebook walls and in situations where timing is everything, this is highly efficient. And at the same time, it opens up a whole new can of worms...

Speaking of worms, critters and poisonous plants...

"We have encountered loose dogs , I also hate wasps and snakes. We go out most days anyways." And this amazing Momma reported just the next day that one of her daughters got stung by a bee...

"Ticks, we have found them on our clothes. I carry a good spray and a tick spoon and we are outdoors all the time."

"Ticks and poison ivy."

"Ugh...ticks."

Boy, those ticks really tick people off. And while I grew up learning about tick protection and identification and was sprayed with 100% Deet (and only a few lingering side effects...) with leggings tucked into my socks, I tested positive for Lyme disease at the age of 15. I'd never had a bulls eye rash nor had I found a tick on my body. Fast forward to the first year of our marriage and my husband had become inexplicably ill. Nothing seemed to help him and test after test came back negative. I mentioned Lyme and his doctor begrudgingly obliged to run the panel. High on every marker. No tick found, no bulls eye rash. Indeed, tick born illnesses are a valid concern. Loose dogs, stinging insects, snakes (S found one in our backyard bucket of mud and that is a story for another day) and poisonous plants are some of the many concerns we face in nature. And even when we are vigilant and cautious, things happen.

Injuries outdoors can range from those inflicted by flora or fauna to skinned knees, splinters, or broken bones to sunburns to dehydration (a topic you'll see come up next...) to heat exhaustion in hot temperatures or frostbite and hypothermia in cold ones. Injuries and illness related to outdoor causes can range from mild to severe. It's hard as a parent and educator to even think about the severe ones. I've been a teacher in a school where a child escaped the playground and was found (safe, thank G-d) running down a busy street. I recently visited the beach with my family this summer and watched S play gleefully by the shoreline. Literally days after we arrived home, a father and rabbi in a community we know well passed away after trying to rescue a drowning student in a different part of the same beach. I could not sleep for nights afterward. But when it comes to those easier to wrap our brain around (or at least a bandaid around) boo-boos, a friend of mine mentioned how important it is for her children to learn how to work through minor injuries and this was a really enlightening spin on the topic. 

So back to the "number one" issue (pun intended)...

"Not bringing enough water. 
Related: a kid needing to use a bathroom."

"Dehydration and bathroom needs."

A couple of months ago, we had quite a scare with S on a very hot day when we walked to and from synagogue on Shabbos. He vomited several times and although we typically do not use phones or cars on Shabbos, we called the pediatrician and rushed him to pediatric urgent care with fear that he was suffering from heat exhaustion. He did get some Zofran, a lollipop and a Gatorade and reported back that it was "the best day ever." He was OK and his vomiting had been more food related than heat related. Nonetheless, in related news, he also recently took his first pee in the woods because this Mommy is going to have her kids hydrate whether or not there is a bathroom nearby...


And now that we're all shaking in our sloggers just a bit, let's talk about the things we feel confident in outdoors:

"I feel confident about being allowed to make as much noise as the kids feel like making! So long as they are crying and making people question my parenting abilities, I feel confident the bears won't come after us!"

"We will find something interesting, be it a bug, plant, geocache, or water."

" I feel confident in making as big of a mess as the kids desire. I also never wonder whether we will discover something amazing whether it's a butterfly in the flowers, a bird nest in the grass, what color the water turns when different colors of chalk are added or what kind of bug is hanging out in the herbs."

It doesn't matter what your WHY is, just that you have one. That you get outside ANYWAY because wherever you are, you're here and this parenting and working with kids thing totally requires a lot of patience, bravery and resilience. In balancing caution and confidence, we work within ourselves. We also impart this onto our children as they grow to strike their own sense of balance. What really struck a chord with me as I collected data and ideas for this series of posts is how, like in so many other areas of life with kids and parenthood, we are faced with so many decisions to make and so many potential risks that it really could become paralyzing. But somehow, we get out there anyway. Whether it's the benefits we see or the wonder we still hold in the great outdoors, time and time again, we get outside ANYWAY. We wipe off tears. We kiss and clean wounded elbows. We nurture wounded egos and celebrate strides in confidence. We live in an era where we could wrap in bubble wrap and plop in front of the TV (wait, isn't bubble wrap an asphyxiation risk? And isn't screen time bad for the eyes and harmful to sleep hygiene? Oh no, more to worry about...) We could ask Alexa what's under a rock outside. We could tell and show our children what's under a rock outside. Or our children could walk into the woods with us and find a big rock and discover how heavy it is to move and then discover a whole hidden city of bugs and worms that were underneath it. All of those experiences have value, but the one they are most likely to recall is the latter.

So how about that fourth question: What kind of outdoor leader are you? Join us in our next post to hear from the hovering helicopters, the free range adventurers and the hybrid hover-rangers... We'll walk the walk and talk the talk and until then...

Happy Playing!