Playtime for YOU: Nurturing and Rediscovering Our Own Creative Side

Moms, Dads, Grandparents, Educators and Caretakers of all kinds--this playtime post is for US--the grown ups. I write here a lot about the importance of play in children and more recently, I've remembered how important it is for adults as well. We might call it self care or hobbies or "me time," and there are a number of ways we might choose to spend it. And while we often recognize the need for our children to have free time in which to play and explore and express themselves creatively, we do not always recognize (or honor) that need in ourselves. For me, it comes out as feeling completely spent by the end of a day, desiring something more, something challenging (well, differently challenging than getting through a day with a 10 month old and a 3.5 year old!). There are many ways in which we can care for ourselves:

• Physical/bodily self care might include nutrition, fitness, enjoying a manicure or a massage...
• Spiritual self care might include observance of holidays/traditions in the home, religious or spiritual practice, meditation or whatever practices are meaningful to you
• Social self can involve engaging with friends, family and community--everyone's needs in this area are different and depend largely on where one falls on the spectrum of being introverted or extroverted
• Mental/emotional self care encompasses the paths we utilize to navigate difficult emotions, resolve conflicts and work on personal growth
• Intellectual self care can be expressed in how we continue to pursue education in areas of personal and/or professional interest. For some that may be taking a class or joining a club, for others it may be meaningful to engage in volunteer work or connected specifically to your career

For the sake of this post and in regard to the basic theme of this blog, I am focusing today on creative self care. I have heard so many of my friends claim that they are "not creative," and I could not disagree more! I think there are a lot of ways to express creativity, although many of us associate it in particular with artistic work. That being said, anyone who has seen very young children explore art materials can see that there is no struggle in early childhood to express creativity! Children are process oriented, rather than focused on a product. And then, somewhere along the line, a message about art and creative work is internalized: art should look a certain way. I would not personally describe myself as being artistic, though I do feel I am a creative person. I find it meaningful to engage in activities that create something. I especially like activities that use my hands--where I can touch materials and manipulate them into something else. I believe that being creative is like being fit--you need to exercise the muscles involved. I would further argue that exercising those muscles is just as important! And while it is easy to go through days and weeks of "not having time" to nurture that side of ourselves as we are busy with family, work, household tasks and other obligations, there is a price that we pay ourselves and inherently, a tax that is put upon those whom are in our care. Perhaps you feel guilty or selfish pursing personal hobbies and creative activities during "family time," but I have recently re-framed my thinking about that. Not only is it important to integrate self-care into your daily routine for YOU, it is equally important for our children to see and intuit that this is important. Children who see their parents being creative and experiencing joy in that process will likely grow to value their own creativity and self-care down the line.

When it comes to creative expression, there are a lot of activities that are enjoyable for different folks. You may already know what you enjoy. Perhaps you want to try something new or perhaps you have no idea at all where to start. Websites like Pinterest are a great place to search a wealth of artistic, culinary and other creative activities. Library shelves are also stocked with books full of great ideas. Many libraries and parks and rec centers also offer free or low-cost classes to adults to try out a new hobby or craft. Art supply stores and craft stores often offer classes for adults as well as aisles stocked with materials, books and even free pamphlets for project ideas. Taking up an old hobby or even starting a new one does not need to break your bank either. You can utilize materials you already have, purchase secondhand or perhaps borrow from a friend or family member. 

Here's a peek at some of the creative work I have found meaningful lately. I'd love to hear about your favorite ways to play--feel free to comment below! (I may or may not be looking for more hobbies...)

Whenever I think of my grandmothers, I always remember their hands being full of yarn, knitting or crochet needles, tapestry and embroidery work or other portable projects. They often worked in front of me and sometimes even showed me a thing or two about their craft! They also created beautiful gifts and priceless heirlooms for their loved ones. My own parents were also very creative, though often their creative hobbies were reserved for later hours after we were asleep. My mother was quite crafty and I remember waking up to the results of her late night labor. I did not know until adulthood how long it took her to fabric paint canvas bags or sew us a pillow case. My father took up hobbies like guitar lessons, tennis classes and Tai Chi in adulthood and gave over the important lesson that you do not need to be incredibly talented in an activity to enjoy it. (Dad, I hope you'll forgive me for saying that!)  Additionally, my parents both supported me (without pushing) in my own creative endeavors as I was growing up, whether the activities were ones they personally enjoyed or not--I think this was a huge factor in why I am a creative adult.

Knitting & Yarn Crafting: I took up knitting as a tween and revisited the craft with fervor in my college years. I always imagined once I was married and had children, I would knit all kinds of things for my children and husband. Well, it never happened. Until recently. I let go of long, complicated and detailed projects for the time being in favor of simpler, smaller projects that can easily be picked up and put down as needed. These are the One-Skein Wonder Years and since I like to see the fruits of this meaningful labor rather quickly (or at least in this decade) I tend to gravitate toward little projects like loom knitting pumpkin hats for my boys this fall or some little hats for their baby dolls or even an abundance of washcloths and dishcloths. I can easily leave a ball of yarn and needles with a small work in progress in a few rooms of the house so that wherever we might be, I can grab it and go for a few minutes when the timing is right. Whereas I used to have bin loads of yarns and needles and UFPs (Un-Finished Projects) in college, I now favor and savor a handful of carefully selected yarns and a few sets of quality wooden/bamboo needles. 

I used to wait to knit only at night or nap times. Recently S asked me to make a hat for his baby doll and the next morning when he woke up, there it was! He was ecstatic! Then his other baby doll wanted a hat. The next morning, when he awoke to the second hat, he asked if he could cut it with scissors. My gut instinct was to be appalled and offended. I'd spent a couple of hours working that yarn into a doll hat and he wanted to cut it?! Then I realized that was his way of wanting to work the craft of knitting as well, although he'd never seen it done! I leave a "knitting basket" out for him to explore that contains bits of yarn and string too small for other projects and allow him to explore and experience the textures of the different yarn with scissors, glue and paper and whatever else draws his inspiration. Yesterday, he saw me knitting for the first time and saw how each little knot with the yarn caused that string to slowly, slowly, slowly turn into a piece of functional fabric: a washcloth! He was amazed. He wanted to knit, too, and this knitting basket was the perfect way (for now) for him to experience the craft. Y, too, can enjoy exploring the colors and textures of a ball of yarn or a homemade Pom-Pom. In this way, you can include your children in your own hobbies, even if you are working simultaneously on different levels of a craft. 

Paper-crafting is another hobby revisited for me. I used to scrapbook and make greeting cards in abundance when I was in college. I don't feel as drawn to those particular crafts at this point in my life but I do love recycling my children's artwork into simple greeting card sets for a meaningful holiday gift or making bookmarks with S to use in one of my other favorite hobbies, reading!

The nice thing about paper crafts is the pretty instant results and the ability to work with materials you already have at home. The two dimensional aspect of it is also a big space saver--your hobby won't need to take up a whole room!

I had been inspired by needle-felting for over a decade but always thought it would be "too hard" to learn the craft. S has a teacher in school who is quite a talented needle-felter and gifted me a little starter kit for my birthday. It proved to be one of those gifts that just keeps on giving! I instantly fell in love with the craft and invested in a few more tools and some additional roving. As it turns out, there is something hugely rewarding about repeatedly poking and prodding wool with a needle and watching it turn into something! It is a remarkable forgiving art form and the results are so much fun to use in play and display.

Speaking of play things, I've really enjoyed painting peg dolls for use in our play areas, indoors and out. I love the feel of natural materials in play and the creativity more open-ended play materials inspires in children.

S has enjoyed woodworking creatively with his Tatty, using simple kits and sometimes even scrap wood, nails and a hammer. I so appreciate that building together is an activity my husband has taken on to do with S. So much of our children's exposure to creative work comes from female adults--most commonly teachers, mothers, grandmothers. Fathers and grandfathers also have hobbies and are creative and particularly for my sons, I feel it is so important for them to see male role models being creative and enjoying such hobbies. My husband is one of those folks who would describe himself as "not creative," though I strongly disagree. Nonetheless, this does not stop him from joining in to create a huge family picture with markers and crayons and easel paper on the floor or painting pottery with the kids at a paint your own pottery shop. I love that about him! 

My husband is also more likely than I am to ask for us to spend an evening creating art together! I had this in mind when I purchased some discounted sketch books a while ago for each member of the family. Journaling was a huge area of creative expression for me as a child, teen and young adult. Journaling can take on many forms at different ages and stages. It can include drawing, writing, collage, photos, poetry and more. The only boundaries are the book that is used to contain it! I favor a blank paged sketch book particularly for pre-writers so that drawings and later, early expressions of written word can be accommodated. I'm excited to try out art nights here using our journals for a variety of means of expression. Perhaps you might try out the concept of still life by setting out something from nature or indoors that is visually appealing. With young children, we mostly focus on what colors or shapes they see or how an object makes them feel. A couple things to keep in mind with journals and sketch books:

• Using real, quality materials from the journal itself to the art or writing materials you choose can add a feeling of importance and value. I admit that I have "my own" markers and crayons and ones that are always accessible to S (and eventually Y). Nonetheless, there are times I "share" my own art materials with S and I favor quality art materials in general over quantity. Better to have a small set of chalk pastels that really work than an abundance that do not work as well and cause frustration. I find of a lot of art materials inexpensively at places like Five and Below or even thrift stores. It's also helpful to reserve those 50% off coupons at craft supply stores for things like this. The use of a journal or sketch book also indicates a level of value to children that plain paper may not. A book is "permanent" and shows a huge level of respect to children's creative work. Even children who are less drawn to drawing (pun intended) might love to do so in the space of a leather bound sketch book.
• Personal space extends to a journal. In this particular style of journaling, I encourage respecting those pages as an extension of each person's personal space. I do not draw or write in a child's personal journal and likewise, my own journal is entirely my own. We do shared work in other mediums. While we might engage in a set-up that invites a certain idea of expression, I don't specifically tell anyone what to write or draw about. Our journals are always accessible to grab and use on a whim or we can set a specific time to all use them. As children get older, they may wish to journal as a way to express and contain private ideas and I really encourage parents and caretakers to respect that privacy.

And the biggest rule of thumb for creative expression as self care--both your own and your children's--is that if and when it is not enjoyable, don't do it! If you don't love a hobby, set it aside. If the timing is just wrong, set it aside. This is a safe space to try something and totally fail at it. It's also a safe space to try new things and learn a new skill. I'm actually quite eager to begin exploring the art of embroidery with S and we are both beginners! He is at an age where he can use a blunt needle and some burlap in a smaller embroidery hoop to explore the texture, color and experience of this needle art. I will be right there learning with him! That beginner's mindset is one that is so important to cultivate in our children and continue to nurture in ourselves.

Wishing you all meaningful, creative playing!