The Day We Had a Birthday Party for my Son's Imaginary Friend (and Why)...

When we were growing up, my big sister had an imaginary friend, Kimmy Grape. Naturally, as with anything my big sister had, I was jealous. I circulated through multiple imaginary acquaintances of my own, including Johnny Strawberry,  a set of boy/girl twins, respectively named Sean and Shawn and numerous others whose names I can't recall. Sadly, none of these relationships developed into the kind of quality relationship my sister had with Kimmy Grape. So when S developed a fictional friendship with a young character named Jerome, I was more than a little eager to see where it would go.

Jerome lived in S's belly button and was discovered there a bit after Y was born. Shortly thereafter, Jerome moved out of his belly button home and has since lived in many nearby and faraway locations, depending on where we are and where we might be traveling to. It has become apparent that he also lives with a character named Sallie and that they have a mother living there as well, though I am not clear as to the status of their relationship. It was also recently revealed that Jerome is 37 years old. Jerome was very prevalent in S's life as he adjusted to big changes like siblinghood, getting used to being in preschool and toilet training last year. He became less frequently active in S's life over the summer and into this year, but still emerges in conversation when something exciting, new or anxiety provoking is happening. He is reachable by phone--



Early this week, S announced the exciting news that Jerome was having a birthday, specifically on Tuesday!

He proceeded to write an invitation, stuff it in an envelope, secure it with a sticker and placed it in his toy mailbox. I proceeded to party plan. After all, everyone has a birthday and everyone who has a birthday ought to have a party! We started the morning before school by decorating birthday cards. S decided to make and mail some additional invitations. Then he went off to school for the day and I headed to the store to pick up some party plates, napkins and balloons. The boys had pizza and "Frenchy fries" for supper. We had cupcakes for dessert. We decorated party hats and even a chair for our invisible honored guest. S and Y used leftover wrapping paper, tape, scissors and recycled boxes to wrap "presents" for the birthday boy. They even got little goody bags at the end. But why go through all this trouble and silliness for a fictional birthday celebration?

Because childhood is short. Because it's the middle of winter and for two days it had been too cold to play outside. Because on the heels of a visit to family up north, Tu b'Shevat and the annual Jewish Food Festival here, we needed something else to celebrate. And because sometimes you don't need a reason to celebrate but you do need a cupcake on a Tuesday afternoon. Soon--a lot sooner than I'd care to admit--Jerome will vanish from conversation altogether. He will become a name reminisced about about with humor and nostalgia. S knows fact from fiction. I don't worry about his relationship with Jerome, because he has many healthy relationships with factual people as well, both his peers and significant adults. He has a tender and vast imagination and even larger than that is the size of his heart. I don't know if he will remember Jerome's Birthday Party when he grows up or even if he will remember Jerome. But I like to think that he will. And I know that Jerome, although we cannot see him, has helped my son through life experiences of all kinds. For that, I am so very grateful! Happy Birthday, Jerome, wherever you may be, and to everyone else...

Happy Playing!