A Peek Inside Our Playroom: Fall Farm Dramatic Play

After a month of holidays, I just want to play! Not that we didn't play here over the last month, but with so many holidays back to back, we are just now getting into a Fall routine. And speaking of Fall, it seemed like a perfect time to set up a Fall Farm Dramatic Play theme in our play area. So come on in, take a peek inside our playroom and get ready for some Fall-themed fun at our farm!
When it comes to setting up new play themes I need it to be time and budget efficient. That means we repeat themes here--and why not? Every time my kids explore a play theme again, they bring new life and learning to it. I use what I have on hand and many of our resources and props cross over from one theme to another. Storage is always a work in progress so I can actually find the resources and props I want, but I like 2 gallon ziplock bags for flat and smaller materials and larger plastic bins for dramatic play props and costumes. I get the kids on board to create new props and materials because it's less work for me and more fun for them. I also make my setup a gradual process rather than a massive project. For one thing, this is what time and energy allows for right now and it also gives the kids a chance to explore and experience activities one at a time rather than being overwhelmed by so many new things that they end up not playing at all. And with this particular theme, I'm actually going at an even slower pace, intentionally adding in props that the boys will help to make and new activities that I will join in with them so that we can squeeze a bit more use out of one play theme before I transition to another.

In our month of endless holidays, we totally missed pumpkin picking season this year. Last year we spent an afternoon at a dramatic play pumpkin patch, and I knew I wanted to incorporate that into our Fall Farm this year. Printable resources for dramatic play are a great, time saving resource. I especially like the dramatic play sets from Pocket of Preschool and in this setup I used materials from both the Apple Orchard Dramatic Play and the Pumpkin Patch Dramatic Play sets. I print and laminate materials once and store them between use.

So far our Fall Farm includes:

• a build your own pumpkin patch for planting and growing pumpkins
• hayrides
• pumpkin picking
• a snack shop
• a "face painting" station
• a kitchen for preparing and selling foods served in the snack shop
• a weighing station for pumpkins, gourds, candy, cookies, etc.
• a cashier's station with tickets for purchase, a cash register, receipt pads and order forms
• "cameras" for taking pictures
• handmade snack and food props (with more to come...)

At the Build Your Own Pumpkin Patch, our shelves our stocked with planting pots, a gardening shovel and rake, a watering can, "seeds" (I used rocks), "dirt" (I used pompoms and also a large piece of fabric to lay down on the floor as a garden bed, real mini pumpkins and gourds (you could make your own or use artificial ones if you prefer), and artificial vines. You can get creative with your props here, using what you have, making what you don't have.

S really liked putting the fabric down as a garden bed and then sprinkling "dirt" and "seeds" overtop. The photo at the head of this post is how his pumpkin patch looked once they had grown and were ready to harvest!

When it's time to harvest, guests can ride "tractors" (scooters--I later taped a photo of hay on top) to the pumpkin patch and pick their gourds and pumpkins. They can take them to the weighing station and weigh them. The boys especially love putting things in bags (I have no idea why!) and some brown lunch bags were perfect here.

They have also really enjoyed baking pies, selling treats and visiting the snack shop. I used some printables from the Pumpkin Patch Dramatic Play Set I mentioned above and laminated different foods that they could velcro on to the snack menu each time they play.

We made the "caramel apples" using some foam decorative apples we had left from a few years ago. I stuck in some wooden craft sticks and we drizzled glitter glue over them to look like caramel coating. We made some "pumpkin cookies" using leftover felt shapes I had from last year, fabric paint and glitter for icing. I recycled some empty fruit cups and turned them into "applesauce" by painting the inside yellow and adding a laminated label from the Apple Orchard Dramatic Play set with velcro dots to open and close. Later this week we will be making model magic cookies and perhaps some other delicacies.

Our "face painting" station is just a laminated picture of face paints and some clean brushes. I might b adventurous after October 31st when real face paints go on sale!

This has given us a lot of "food for thought" as we begin our play adventure. Stay tuned for more additions and updates and until then...

Happy Playing!

The Dark Side of the Playroom: When Children's Play Makes Us [Adults] Uncomfortable

Child's play--most of the time, it's cute, funny, intriguing... It can elicit feelings of nostalgia or even wistfulness toward a simpler time, a more carefree existence, a level of innocence that existed before inhibition took over. Children play about common themes, usually those within their direct environment or some experienced through outside exposure. They look adorable dressed up in our too-big-for-their-feet shoes and it's charming when they imitate us (sometimes even revealing). Child's play is usually something that brings us feelings of contentment and comfort. On a deeper level, we know that play is the means by which children decipher the world around them. It is how they express and work through common childhood fears and conflict. It is how they build relationships. It is how they learn to navigate their physical environment as well as their emotional environment. But what about those themes of child's play that make us--adults--uncomfortable? Children playing about death or dying, children playing doctor about body parts that we consider private, children playing about superheros, magic, fairies, dragons, unicorns, the Poop Emoji (I couldn't help myself with that one), toileting routines in general, illness, romantic relationships/marriage, weapons, guns, killing, good vs. evil, "bad guys," jail, war, conflict... For many of us, at least some of these play themes make us quite uncomfortable. .

In my years of classroom teaching, I've experienced a plethora of classroom play dynamics as well as director-implemented approaches. I've taught in a center where superhero play, gun play, family play with more than one Mommy or more than one Daddy, and dress up in clothing that was "not gender appropriate" was prohibited by the school director. I've taught in a center where I had students in my class with a parent or significant adult in jail. I've worked with children who have a parent in the military and deployed. I've worked with young children who have experienced gun violence, physical abuse, a parent struggling with addiction, a parent who is chronically and/or terminally ill, sexual abuse, custody battles, violence toward a parent (even at the hands of another parent), and exposure to adult sexual behavior. I've taught in a classroom where, in order to be culturally sensitive, I decided with my co-teacher to bring in toy deer for a child who consistently played about guns and shooting in the framework of his family's hunting trips. For this child, play was a safe haven in a world that had exposed him to a great lack of safety and security all before the age of 4. His memories of hunting trips were one of the few positive experiences he'd had with his father. I've taught in classrooms where I worked to develop curriculum around rough and tumble play within safe parameters. 

From the parenting perspective, S has very recently reached the developmental stage of gun play, good guy/bad guy play, and building jails. Some of this is likely ideas shared with other children who have had more exposure to media with these themes than he has, although some of it is likely genuine to him and his own curiosity and development. While the vocabulary around it initially started with "gun-shooters" and "blasters," he's only more recently come home with vocabulary around it like "guns," "killing" and "bad guys." In other words, his play about it used to be mostly mimicked play but now it includes more of his own directed story-line. In talking with him and, yes, even playing with him, I've come to realize which concepts he understands and which he does not. We have even used this as an opportunity to introduce very rudimentary information about gun safety--as in, if he ever finds a gun or something he thinks might be a gun, he should not touch it and get a safe adult right away. And while I felt pretty secure in most of my teaching situations (not so much in that first one), I am a little less surefooted in this parenting end of it. I find that I have far more questions than answers to those questions.

Let me tell you as a classroom teacher what happens when you make a "no gun play" rule. You get a lot of "fire hoses" and "water shooters" and "squirt toys." In other words, kids find a way to meet that play need. And when I say "play need," it is because I genuinely believe that children meet a variety of needs through play. What is the "need" behind gun play? Good question! In an attempt to crowd source, I posted a question on my Facebook page about children and gun play--yay or nay? I got a plethora of replies. Many of the responses came from the perspective of boys at play even though I never specified gender in the question. Many used words like "dominance" and "aggression." Some addressed cultural tendencies toward gun use and gun ownership. Some talked about gun safety and directing play toward "target practice" and not people/killing. Some responded that they had played in this way as children, but were less sure now as adults in our day and age if it was still appropriate. I can't claim to know the need behind every child's play experience even with a common theme, but I can consider that the needs behind gun play may include some or all of the following for many children:

• exploration of power roles
• tension release
• exploration of "good versus evil"
• gaining a sense of control over one's environment
• social connection/relationship with peers
• curiosity about guns, violence, death/dying, etc.
• fear of guns, violence, death/dying, etc.
• mimicking scenes from books, characters, television, movies, etc. in which guns and violence are often glorified
• exploring concepts of security, rescue, protection
• enjoyment in that adrenaline rush/fight or flight response (similar to riding a roller coaster or seeing a scary movie)

On a base neurological level, studies have been done that show a reduction in anxiety and a release of "feel good chemicals" in the brain through simply saying words that begin with the "f" or "sh" sound. So for anxious drivers, a nice assertive "fudge" or "ship" from behind the wheel can go a long way! I would be very curious to know what the brain experiences during gun play, in particular with regard to those fight/flight areas of the brain and those that regulate emotional response. I do believe that play provides a space for children to exert power and control in a world that so frequently keeps that out of their reach. When children engage in uninterrupted and non-directed play, they are in charge of the story line, the time frame, their space, their body's movement in that space.

And then I wonder what happens when impart a value on children's play themes. And furthermore, what happens when we introduce a concept of "shame" into play by disallowing particular themes, labeling them as "not nice" or "inappropriate," or removing particular props or topics from their environment altogether. On the one hand I can tell you that a child determined to play about weapons will find a way to play about weapons with or without a sword, gun or bow and arrow. But here is another scenario:

A preschool teacher I greatly admire for her work in the area of dramatic play no longer allows (or least no longer promotes) doctor play in her classrooms because she experienced an incident with a student and sexual abuse. Without knowing the details, I wonder what would be different if she saw this experience as the play opportunity that led to a child getting help rather than the one that would forever remove this potential refuge for a future student, if it were G-d forbid needed. The fact is, that most of the time, play is, well, just play. Children frequently play about doctors because it is something that is relevant to their world. Typically it is not indicative of more than that. And if we were to remove everything from a child's play environment that could potentially be harmful or injurious, what would be left? We'd finally stop hearing the Baby Shark Song. Doctor kits would no longer have a syringe (although I must posit, do anti-vax parents remove these in case their children might play about "vaccine injuries?") Forget about kitchen sets--an oven or stove could burn you. And firetrucks, police cars, race cars, airplanes, baby dolls, stuffed animals, toy phones, bicycles, blocks, and Legos, definitely Legos...

On the other side of the scale, when we do allow for all play themes and topics, we enter a zone in which children are exposed through play to some novel topics we may or may not be ready for them to explore. In a classroom setting, children come from a variety of backgrounds. Each child's family and community has its own views and boundaries and further within that circle, each child has his/her own threshold for understanding and processing these concepts. Within the home setting, there may be more room for exploring such play themes, but we also need to keep in mind that what happens in our home playroom likely doesn't stay only in the home playroom.

In my continuing exploration of how to approach gun play and other challenging play themes at home, I have more bullet points on my list of things I don't know than things that I do know. I feel very strongly about play being a safe outlet for all children, whether they are playing for the sake of playing or playing for the sake of problem solving, working through challenging emotions, claiming a sense of control over their environment, navigating fears and learning about the world around them. In fact, I think that children's play usually crosses over many of these fields at the same time. When we tell a child "you're not allowed to play about..." we apply a weight to a particular theme that may not initially have held such weight to a child. It might become that red button that says "don't push me." It might lead a child to feel ashamed, embarrassed or confused. It may lead to more questions (and that's not necessarily a bad thing either) or it might lead to a child becoming more secretive in this form of play (and this is something that does concern me). I also think it is important as children grow up for them to learn about socially accepted behaviors even in terms of playing and talking about particular topics in some venues/company versus others. It is important as children explore developmental play schemas for them to learn that some parts of the body are private, about the importance of consent, about who the "safe" adults are and when it's safe/appropriate for an adult to touch them. It is important for children to be able to explore and talk about death, weapons, good/evil, etc. The challenging part for us is navigating how much information to give and when and then being able to empower children to continue to feel safe in exploring these topics while still "playing it safe," -- in other words, playing about adult-deemed "appropriate" topics in the "appropriate" environments.

I can remember as a child that I had a particular playmate who tended to play about certain themes her teenaged sister was experiencing, particularly dating. We had a playroom in our basement and I played there with friends often, though the door was always open and I know that my mother peeked and listened in. After one playdate, she simply approached me in a very non-confrontational way and mentioned that she noticed we'd played about these things. She said "if you ever have any questions about that stuff, you can come and ask me." Now as an adult and mother of 3, I see such a value and beauty in this simple approach. I did not feel shamed or embarrassed or afraid. It did, however, help me to realize that this was a topic that people my age might have questions about and wonder about. It created a scenario in which that door was not only open for discussions of play, but also open for discussions of those topics when they actually came up for me years later.

So what should we do when children cross over to that dark side of the playroom? While I can't even begin to scrape the surface of the answer, here are some of the things I do think are helpful...

• Ask before you answer: Before you jump in to the deep end, step back. Ask yourself what this play is communicating? Is it simply a game of "cops and robbers" or is there more to it? And after you ask yourself what is behind their play, also ask your children. "What are you playing about?" "What do you think that means?" I've found the most effective way of doing this is to be invited into the play scene (and this is a delicate process, because if children do perceive that an adult is about to hijack their play, they may clam up and disengage altogether). If and when you are invited to play, you can talk through characters or simply as yourself to find out a bit more. 
• Find out what they already know--this is your starting point: In exploring difficult topics with children, even in play, it's helpful to know what they know! Take this as your starting point. We tend to jump right into the over-explaining mode and it's easier on both sides of the conversation to take it at the child's pace. 
• Level with them: It is important to come to your child's level, both physically (as in, sitting down with them and not hovering over or shouting from across the room) and also cognitively. Adults approach adult topics with adult brains. Children approach adult topics with children's brains. In other words, it doesn't mean to them what it means to us. It can be helpful to remove the weight of adult perception and from there focus on how you'd like to proceed. 
• When to bring in the experts: First off, I give myself permission to bring in the experts whenever the heck I want to! It doesn't have to be a "dire" circumstance to ask for advice or support from fellow parents/teachers, family members, pediatricians or child psychologists. On the other hand, if you notice a child seeming stuck in a particular play scenario or exhibiting signs of trauma or distress, it is important to get some help on board. It may be nothing at all and it may be something. It is very important to err on the side of caution and within this, to also be a safety net for the child and not shame or punish him/her for playing about a topic that is "not allowed" or "not appropriate." Redirecting play here can be fine and in certain environments will be necessary. In addition, it is really important not to try to address the concern alone. Make sure to utilize supervision (if you are in the work environment) and community supports and resources..
• Can you meet the need behind the play in another way? When it comes to play themes that are not preferred in the home or in a school/social setting, it can be helpful to redirect the play while still meeting the child's need behind it. This can involve a bit of creativity and ingenuity on your part, but the "experts" are the children themselves! 
• Open door policy: This one applies both to the literal sense and a figurative one. It is important to notice and reflect on our children's play. This is our greatest glimpse into their world--a world full of wonder, curiosity, worry, discovery, and their role within that. Welcome opportunities to be invited into their play. And in the figurative sense, gift them the opportunity to play for purpose. To be able to write the script and man the wheel. Gift them opportunity for uninterrupted, uninhibited, self-led play. And also gift them that open door--that if they have any questions, concerns or worries, they can come to you. Today. Tomorrow. In ten years. Always.

And while I most often end my posts with a wish for happy playing, play is not always happy. Play is many things for many reasons so for today, I wish you all meaningful playing however that looks for you in the moment.

Sukkot: "Building" on the Theme with Loose Parts

Just when you're feeling about holiday-ed out, the Jewish month of Tishrei throws in a few more, beginning with Sukkot and culminating in the grande finale of Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. The whole month is like the hokey pokey! You're in Shabbos and Yom Tov [holiday] and back out to weekday and school/work mode, then back in and back out. So walking in and out of the house to get to our sukkah seems only fitting. Y described it best, perhaps, when he said "Mommy, this week is outside." He also tried to convince me this morning that I should not brush his hair because "it is Shabbos and yomtov." Touche, little man, touche!






And with the boys both busy at school creating decorations and learning about the holidays, and C still too little to do much more than pose adorably with our handmade felt lulav and esrog set, I wanted our home activities to be a little more child-led and open-ended. I also wanted something that would, eh em, maybe keep the kids a little busier while I get some cooking done... Loose parts play to the rescue! And the best part about building on the theme of, well, building, is that you can use just about anything you have on hand. Man-made objects, nature-made objects, fabric, toys, seasonal decorative craft supplies, even recyclables. You can also decide how much or how little to set out. I tend to err on the side of less is more--it is usually easier to add something in than to reign it all in when you've added too much. It also tends to work better for the children using the materials when there is not so much out because they can really hone in on what is there, how they'd like to use it and how they can creatively expand if and when they choose to.

When selecting what to use in my loose parts play-times, I tend to choose based on my own curiosity. My favorite things are those for which I cannot think of a purpose; I know the children will. This time I did have in mind the idea of building a sukkah, but I also incorporated the current season of Autumn and left the activity entirely open ended. The children could build a sukkah or anything at all. I also wanted to incorporate objects in different sizes and different textures. I started out by setting out some dollhouse tables and chairs, little dolls, some felt and Fall themed fabric swatches, small wood blocks and a wooden salad bowl filled with Fall shaped acrylic gems, tree cookies, cinnamon sticks, artificial leaves and decorative mini Indian corns and apples. Later in the week, I added in a basket of real mini gourds and pumpkins.

These have been used for stacking/building, feeding dolls and stuffed animals, playing floor hockey and creating a pumpkin patch on our living room carpet...

Fabric swatches have been made into backdrops, carpeting and even the roof or schach of a sukkah... 

Felt rectangles in coordinating colors make great backdrops or sometimes help designate a space for a structure to be built...

The dolls, chairs and tables allowed the boys to have guests come eat in a sukkah. S invited some Carebears and My Little Ponies and mini fairies and gnomes from our Nature Table to join in as well.

Smaller loose parts have been used here for everything from schach on top of the sukkah to delicacies served to guests inside of the sukkah. Y asked if he could bring some things in from our Nature Table as well and I was eager to see how he incorporated some collected natural loose parts and even our china tea set into the scene.

Our wood blocks are all second hand and collected from old Jenga sets. They are a perfect size for a smaller play space and easy to store in a basket between play sessions.

I introduced the materials simply by showing the boys that they were there. I said that I had thought about building a sukkah with them but they could be used for anything at all. S got right to work building a sukkah, but then moved on to making a road across the length of our carpet for skateboarding Carebears! He also asked to use a ruler to measure his road. Loose parts play lends itself quite nicely to STEM skills development.

Meanwhile in our art center, I added in some graph paper, some printed sukkah blueprints, and some printed blueprint/sketch templates. In our Writing Center drawers I also stocked some Fall themed paper, stickers and sight word strips (S is very interested in writing words these days). The boys kept quite busy making decorations and pictures for Sukkot as we got ready for the holiday to begin last week. Open ended activities like this help busy adults foster busy children. Don't get me wrong, we've spent a bit of time watching videos here as well! But I feel good that in between it all, the boys are having fun playing, building and creating and all the while delving into the important themes of this holiday season.

Whether you're looking for a quick way to squeeze in some entertainment and learning as we wrap up the Jewish holidays or a great Autumn themed invitation to play, here are few tips I'd recommend as you choose and set up your materials:

• Use what you already have. Don't go shopping (unless you really want to). Objects can be found in nature, around the house, in old/broken toys and games, your recycling bin, your craft supplies,etc.
• Portion control is hard for children (and many adults). You do not need a LOT of each material, especially if you don't have a LOT of children using them at one time. When I set out materials, I keep in mind how much clean up will be involved if they [re: when they] get all dumped out. 
• The use of baskets, bowls or trays helps keep everything organized. That said, I try to be a little loose about organization of loose parts. If you are really set on things being individually sorted, first off--don't look in my wooden salad bowl! And secondly, you might want to minimize the number of different materials you do introduce at one time.

Want to do more?

• Bring loose parts play into your art and writing areas by encouraging children to draw up blueprints of their ideas or record drawings and/or photos of their finished structures.
• Add an art component and use small loose parts to have children make their own mini holiday themed props. These can then be brought back in to the loose parts building space and used in small world play. Last year the boys loved using loose parts to create their own lulavs and esrogim. S even made me an esrog bracelet--which reminds me that I'd better go find that and wear it before the holiday ends!

• If you're feeling quite ambitious and weather/time permits, bring your baskets of loose parts outside to your actual sukkah and have a blast working and creating in the fresh air! This type of activity is a great one for spaces and groups that include members of varying ages.
• On a larger scale, introduce and offer larger sized materials and loose parts for building a play sukkah that can actually be used by children. Cardboard boxes, old blankets/sheets and fabric, recycled tissue boxes and large cardboard tubes, toys like fort magic or cardboard brick blocks, clothes pins (for connecting) can all be used. Outdoors, large sticks and logs and branches can be incorporated.
• Use edible loose parts for building a sukkah that is good enough to eat! You can go the sweets and treats route and use graham crackers, frosting, pretzel sticks and cereals or candies. You can also go the more nutritious route and use fruits and veggies, perhaps some peanut butter and/or humus for sticking things together.
• For a fizzy fun Sukkot themed science experiment, try your hands at some Exploding Esrogim (our holiday themed version of this fizzy lemon volcano experiment). It was a huge hit at a community event I ran with kids of all ages (and maybe also some grownups). You'll just need some lemons (those are your esrogim), baking soda, some additional lemon juice and optional red food coloring. This one can get a bit messy, so it's a great candidate for outdoor play.

• Check out some of our other favorite Sukkot related and Autumn related activities as well!

We are about to hokey pokey back in to Shabbos and holiday mode here, but we'll be back to routine and reality soon! Until then...

Chag Sameach, Happy Fall, and Happy Playing!