Troubleshooting Tuesday: HELP! The kids aren't playing!

I've heard it from teachers. From parents. From my own lips. "Help! The kids aren't playing!" What do we do when we've "set up shop," we have all the "right things," but the children don't seem engaged? Today I'm going to take you through some of my own favorite troubleshooting steps--and you might find some of them a bit surprising...

But before I begin, I want to unpack this term "play." What is play? I like the work of Dr. Peter Gray when it comes to defining and exploring the concept of play both for children and adults. Here is a brief synopsis of 5 points he uses to define play and you can read more on that here:

1. Play is self-chosen and self-directed.
2. Play is activity in which means are more valued than ends.
3. Play has structure, or rules, which are not dictated by physical necessity but emanate from the minds of the players.
4. Play is imaginative, non-literal, mentally removed in some way from “real” or “serious” life.
5. Play involves an active, alert, but non-stressed frame of mind.

So when I get that nagging feeling in my gut that my kids or my students are not playing--I begin with that first point and this first step:

Finish the sentence. "The kids are not playing____" and? When I challenge myself to finish the sentence, it helps me to direct my attention toward a solution (if needed) or toward a better understanding of what is really going on. In particular, sometimes I have found that my perception of the children not playing is tainted by my perception of what their playing should look like. 

More and more, our early childhood venues are recognizing and reclaiming the importance of play in childhood. However, driven both by the external pressures of the "schoolification" of early childhood and the self-imposed pressures of Pinterest perfect play scenes, we sometimes miss the mark when it comes to truly nurturing and fostering an environment for play. 

If play is "self-chosen" and "self-directed," we need to recognize that even "playful activities" inspired for learning through play are still adult-directed. We also need to recognize that in our daycare and classroom settings--and even in our homes--parameters around play such as time limits, space limits, occupancy limits, limits on how materials are used, where they are used, when they are used, etc., are all externally chosen and directed. That said, this is not necessarily a bad thing! There are reasons those limits are set in some instances--safety, necessity of schedule, environmental factors and so on. And other times, perhaps we could increase our own flexibility.

"Wait!" you are saying... "but I do have a classroom/home that is full of play opportunities! Even my learning centers are play based!" So, yes, we do have a lot of play based activities in our homes and classrooms. However, once we begin to filter these experiences by where they should happen (dramatic play area, block area, library, art center, sensory table) or how long children may or must remain at an activity (sometimes even with timers!) and when they must be done or finished ("hey, it's time to go outside now" or even, "you're not done yet, you haven't filled the page!")...yeah, we kind of lost the child-chosen and child-directed aspect of play. 

In finishing that sentence, "the kids are not playing____," here are some of the most frequent versions I or others have experienced:

"The kids are not playing the way I expected them to." I set up a dramatic play scene for a vet shop, but the kids want to give me a check up. I put out paint and brushes, but the children are using their fingers. I envisioned they would use these loose parts to design a tree but they are building a house. The baby dolls are for the home living area but the children are bringing them to the block area. In these instances, it is usually easy for me to recognize in finishing that sentence that I, the adult, had expectations that were different from the children in my care. And then comes the part about choice. If choice is an inherent factor in true play, can I find a way to allow for choice? And the choice is also yours. Remember that it is not the end of the world if you have to set limits and parameters at times either out of necessity or even comfort. I do challenge us all to safely and securely expand our comfort zones, however that does not mean ignoring our own needs in favor of meeting everyone else's.

"The kids are not playing, they are....[being destructive, being loud, being silly, throwing things, being disrespectful to the materials...]" This one is so challenging to me. Whether I've intentionally set up an activity, set out a material or it's just their own toys at home, to see children using things in ways that I perceive as destructive strikes a nerve with me every time. And then I break that sentence down to focus on that last part. What they are doing. I challenge myself to see the action without the judgment of it--so perhaps to see the throwing without the qualifying characteristic of that being destructive or disrespectful. Many times it is helpful to look at the intention behind the action. A child who is not displaying signs of strong emotions in the moment of throwing a toy may not be throwing a toy to be angry, hurtful or destructive. Even if big feelings are a motivator, they may not have the recognition developmentally of that being "disrespectful." The intent is huge here. No, we cannot let children use things in a way that is destructive and harmful to the materials, to themselves, to others or to their space. But can we meet the need in another way? Deconstruction is a common childhood play schema--the interest in and urge to take things apart and discover how they work. So is trajectory (throwing things) and seeing how they move within our space. When we familiarize ourselves with common childhood play schemas it can help filter our perceptions of what is typical, what we can do to meet our children's play needs and to let go of some of that frustration and pressure we impose on ourselves. You can read some more about common play schemas here.

"The kids are not playing long enough." We've all seen it. Kids darting from one activity to another before you can blink an eye. Or kids visiting a new activity for the first time only to flee after a few minutes and move on to something old and familiar. Consider a few things that may be happening here. On the one hand, if you wait and watch, you might notice a child return to an activity for a longer period of time. Sometimes it is not that they didn't spend long enough, it's that we didn't. It takes a decent chunk of time for most children to deeply engage in play. And within this period of time, you will notice shifts in energy, focus and attention, pace and flow. It is similar to how we function in a work task; play truly is the work of our children. And engagement with an activity or experience can look different between an adult and a child and between one child and another. And even with the same child from one time to another. Alternatively, perhaps your expectations of how much time a child should spend on an activity were unrealistic. Again here, the intent plays a role. If a child has met their play intention with something and chooses to move on out of feelings of completion, that is "long enough."

And the tendency for some children to frequently return to familiar play things or scenarios is not necessarily a bad thing either. The children who opt out of a new or exciting activity that is offered in favor of building a tower for Elsa out of Magnetiles for the 973rd time is still needing to build that tower. Perhaps they are working out the engineering and mechanical end of it, navigating structural challenges and magnetism. Perhaps they are working through the story line end of it as they build on the theme both literally and figuratively. But this doesn't mean you need to throw out the baby with the bathwater. Leave the novel activity out, let them return later if they choose and if not, feel free to reintroduce it again at another date. We tend to feel so much pressure as parents and educators to reinvent the wheel every day. To offer something new and different from the day before. And we need to remember for ourselves and for our children--repetition is the essence of learning and development at this point.

"The kids are not playing with _____." I hear this one a LOT. Whether it's related to a specific area, toy/material, or even all encompassing--as in the children are not playing with most or any of the toys offered in a space. Especially when I hear (or say) "the kids are not playing with anything and they have so many toys," I usually find my answer right in the statement itself. Too much of a good thing is possible here. Sometimes having too many things out and available feels like option overload to our little players. Sometimes taking a portion of that away opens up space both physically and mentally to engage more deeply with what is available.  Many people worry that "taking things away" will be hard for the children and it doesn't necessarily have to be. If a child (including my own) asks "where is ___" or "why is ____ not out anymore?" I simply explain I put it away for now and will bring it back another time. Sometimes kids won't even say anything at all about such a change and will rather just begin to engage in play with what is out and available. And while many say it's easier to add than take away and to keep things minimal, especially at first, I don't think it is an all or nothing scenario. It's OK to start off with a minimal approach like this; it's also OK if you didn't and need to backtrack a bit.

"The kids aren't playing all of a sudden and they were just playing so nicely!" OK, how do I say this in a nice way? Um, they stopped playing because I came over. I've done this so many times in my classrooms or my home. The kids are playing, everyone's happy, not a worry in the world. So I waltz on in with my adult two cents. Maybe I decide to suggest we count the blocks in that Duplo tower. Or maybe I comment about what they're drawing. Or maybe I ask which superheroes they're pretending to be. Either way, I was not invited. And does someone always need an invitation to join in? No, but if you are the adult in the room, an unannounced and unplanned "visit" may not feel so welcome to the young players. In fact, it can feel like an interruption or intrusion. Have you ever watched a child approach a group of kids already engaged in play? This is where I take my cues. Some children will just watch for a bit and feel their way into joining the game. Many will say, "can I play?" I learn from their approach that there is great value in watching without labeling or hijacking and asking for an invitation is a beautiful skill! And if, as the adult in the room, your kids or students are playing nicely and all is well, you're not being lazy or unproductive by not saying and doing anything at all. You're not missing an opportunity to teach math if you don't count the Duplos. They already have the idea of one-to-one correspondence when they match one bump to one hole. Not to mention geometry, spacial awareness, "some," "a lot," "more," and so on...

There is a big push today to include open ended materials and loose parts play opportunities in homes and classrooms. Sometimes this push is a wee bit militant. I love loose parts play and open ended materials. I also think "traditional" toys have their place and "single function" playthings are still fun for kids and meaningful in play. In fact, when it comes to what children play with, I don't care as much about that as I do with how they play. Anything can be an "open ended loose part" if a child chooses to use it in such a way. However, in terms of including loose parts play opportunities, I do have a few suggestions here as well.

Many teachers or parents who take the loose parts plunge will note that they put out a whole bunch of stuff but the children don't really play with it. Again, sometimes I revisit those statements to decipher whether they are indeed not playing or if perhaps their play looks differently than I anticipated. Many times, this type of playing is new to children who may be used to playing with more traditional toys. If it is a novel way to play for you as well, they may pick up on some of your energy around it.. We often want to provide a lot of options of materials to use all at once, and many times it can be more effective to offer a large quantity of fewer materials at a time so the children can really explore them more deeply.

So many times I will be asked when I'm setting out a particular collection of objects, "what are you going to do with that?" and my response will be, "put it here and watch." But sometimes I also forget that I said that and then I might suggest things the children could do or demonstrate things they could create and all of a sudden, I have totally hijacked their play experience. Especially in cases where a child might feel particularly sensitive to not being able to replicate an adult design or idea, this can be hindering. I am definitely not saying to never set out a provocation or invitation to play, to never partake in a project based art activity or to never leave a little love note of play by setting up a small world scene or setting out a dramatic play environment. Everything can have its place and merit in a playroom.

It can also be a very enlightening experience to fully step out and back and to watch what the children do given the opportunity of adequate time and space. I often refer to time as my favorite loose part! We tend to want to jump in, to rescue our children from moments of idleness or silence, to protect them against boredom or redundancy. To match the play experience to the Instagram picture that inspired us to provide it. I have talked in the past about seeing a rising theme in my classrooms of children who "don't know how to play," and when I delve a bit deeper into that concept, I feel it needs to be reworded. It is not that children today do not know how to play, it is that many of them have not had many opportunities to engage in deep, self-directed. Play that is completely of their own choosing and not at all adult directed or inspired.

So what is our role as parents, caregivers and educators? I think we also need to look at our own play deficits. How often do we engage in deep, self-directed "play?" Can you think of the last time you played? What did that look like? Certainly our adult expressions of play are different from those of a child, but the need is the same. The need for a space that is entirely of our own creation. A pace that is entirely of our direction. And a purpose that is of our choosing. And when it comes to our children?There is no perfect pedagogy, no perfect toy, no perfect design of a space to play in or perfect agenda with regard to what you do in that space. There are a lot of right ways to play! There are a lot of right ways to facilitate play. There are a lot of right ways to honor, respect and nurture play. And there are a lot of ways that play can manifest. Allow yourself to consider the full sentence the next time you find yourself in that tailspin of worry and until then...

Happy Playing!

Fostering Independence Through Play on Independence Day!

Ah, the slower pace of summer... Spontaneous evening tricycle rides or trips to the pool. Family BBQs in the front yard. Impromptu field trips to the local produce shop. Long mornings at the park or playground... These are truly the things that summer is made of. I confess to forgetting all about our garden and now the only thing growing is the one thing we didn't plant this year--last year's tomatoes that came back! But it's summer. No worries here. Plenty of tomatoes to come, but no worries here! Today is July 4th and I had nothing specific planned; that's my new favorite kind of day! I do have some Story Stretcher activities planned for later this week, but today seemed like a great day to soak up some of the sunny, spontaneous, slower pace of summertime. My greatest intention with our home play activities has always been to foster age appropriate independence in my children. What better way to celebrate Independence Day than with some great independent play? 

While independent play sometimes refers to children playing on their own, I also use it to refer to play and activities that are child-directed. We grown-ups can join in on the child's terms; we allow them to take the steering wheel for a bit and are there, foremost to engage in play together. We still ensure safety, we may offer ideas or suggestions if a child requests help. We can do this through dramatic play, through process art and even through sensory play, like we did with this red, white and blue sensory bin:

S helped gather a collection of red, white and blue materials to add to our bin. This bin is a great one for folks looking for non-food fillers. You can do something similar with any color theme. We chose ours to celebrate July 4th. We scoured our scrap paper bin for tissue paper, construction paper, card stock, white coffee filters, craft foam--anything we could find in red, white and blue. You could include anything that you have on hand in these colors--even bubble wrap/packing materials, cotton balls/pom poms, ribbon, yarn, decorative grass, paper shreds, beads... We chose materials S could cut and tear.

 I really allowed him to take the reigns. I began by cutting tissue paper into the bin and when S seemed interested, I offered him the suggestion to get his own scissors and join me. I didn't direct him on how to cut or worry about size/shape. Scissor practice is great for fine motor development. Even the act of searching our scrap collection helps in color identification. But the most important part of this activity was the aspect of play, not the associated learning! S took to his kitchen set in search of things he wanted to add as tools and props. He gravitated toward items we've used in sensory bins in the past and some of his favorite kitchen toys. He loves making pretend smoothies in this plastic pitcher, so he got busy right away filling it with red, white and blue paper for a special July 4th smoothie! I didn't stop him when he brought it to his kitchen set, either. I did let him know that when we were done playing, we would have to bring the paper back to the bin, but that it was OK to use it in his kitchen set. Was I initially tempted to disallow it and remind him that what's in the bin stays in the bin as I usually do? Yes, but I resisted the urge to see where this would take his play and I am so glad I did. 

He felt our bin needed more filler, so we gathered some more materials from our scrap collection. He loved cutting and tearing paper and asked me to join him in cutting and tearing paper as well. He brought over a pot and an ice cream scoop from his kitchen and began making "red stone soup!" I did not worry about huge chunks of paper in the bin or odd shapes. I pointed out observations--like how the long strips of paper reminded me of stripes on the flag. S then asked for some stars and I helped cut some of those from our paper scraps as well.
I could have prepared this activity in advance and pre-cut the filler. I could have set out theme related materials and tools, like the flag I set in the side of our bin. I could totally see some star shaped cookie cutters and maybe some tongs and bowls/containers to fill...but this was S's vision and it was nice to allow him to take the wheel for once!

Not this wheel!

I am sure he will be eager to return to this activity after his naptime. I've replaced the bin into its stand that lives in our kitchen right now. He will surely enjoy playing while his Tatty and I prepare our July 4th BBQ dinner. He might help me squeeze some lemons for lemonade or wash the berries we bought this morning at our local produce shop (in preparation for an upcoming story stretcher...) Perhaps we will use some of this filler for a process art collage or perhaps we will play out front and his Tatty will show off the firecrackers he bought [gulp]. Today is Independence Day and as an American, I do have a great deal to celebrate. Most of all today and every day, I celebrate the privilege I have to join in my sons' world as they grow, learn, and play!

Think Outside the Box Thursday: Troubleshooting the Challenges of Nursing an Infant While Entertaining a Toddler

Ah, the joys of nursing an infant when you have a toddler. Nursing and feeding a newborn baby no matter how you do it is one of the most turbulent challenges of those early days and weeks. Each infant has his or her own unique strengths and difficulties when it comes to feeding. I have had two breastfeeding experiences now that are vastly unique and both of them leave me with a strong desire to remind my fellow mommies that 1) fed is best--no matter what combination of techniques works for your family and child, and 2) utilize support, even if you end up "double dipping" and asking more than one expert. After all, the greatest expert at what your baby needs is your baby, and he or she is not talking much about their expertise at this point.
On the other end of that spectrum is my very talkative toddler. S and I had a nursing journey that lasted just over two years when he self-weaned. It included many challenges, many triumphs, combinations of breast milk and formula, pumping (unsuccessfully with a broken pump) and in the end, a special bond and memory. And the memory is not just mine--my son who NEVER forgets talked about nursing continuously (without asking for it) even well after he weaned. At some point during our journey, he named it "nee nee," and it did not surprise me as we got close to welcoming his new baby brother that the topic emerged again. He talked a lot about remembering "nee nee" and described aspects of the experience. I was careful to word my response in such a way that I was honest and to the point. I recalled a mother who ended nursing her own two year old while pregnant after experiencing nursing aversion and not wanting the bond to end on a bitter note. She explained to her toddler that "mommy milk was all gone," but when he saw his baby sister latch on for the first time, he let out an angry and resentful cry. He felt that he had been lied to and betrayed--that she had still had the milk but withheld if from him. Both mom and her son (and even baby sister) all lived to tell about it and heal from the hurt, but I still tear up when I think of that story that I first heard while at the end of my pregnancy with S!
And so the language I used with S was that the new baby would eat "nee nee" as he/she would not be able to eat cheese toast or pretzels or applesauce yet (insert any food S likes.) and that "nee nee" is something Hashem gives to mommies for new and very little babies as they grow and that lasts until they no longer need it. (I do realize this is not true to every nursing experience, but I was aiming to bring it to toddler level.) I mused with the lactation consultant in the hospital the day after Y was born that it would not surprise me if S asked to have "nee nee" again once he saw his brother nursing. She asked what I would do if he did and how I felt about it? I responded that I was open to the question and the feelings behind it. I felt it would come from a place of curiosity and a desire to connect and bond rather than a need for the actual breast milk. My first mode of action would be to validate and fulfill those feelings with other methods before offering to nurse again, but that if he was very persistent with the issue,
In the end, I accurately predicted that S would ask for "nee nee" again. He joked about it a bit: "I no have nee nee," or even asked at times. He also requested that his baby dolls get "nee nee" but I could not imagine nursing my own infant plus three of his! He even tried to make off with a couple of bottles of milk I had just pumped one morning! We continued to talk about it and honor our own experience of having had "nee nee" together and I also offered immediate options of connection (like sitting next to Mommy while I nursed or reading a book together) or options that could follow my nursing Y (like going outside or doing an activity). Nursing was clearly one expression of the closeness S and I share that he sees is shifting now that he is a big brother. It is important that I nurture our unique bond in ways that meet his current developmental needs and that I am sensitive to his expression of those needs. Many times he merely needs to say something in order to move through it and does not need further explanation or accommodation. This is a quality I wish I could cultivate in myself!
Another challenge of nursing an infant with a toddler in the house is the aspect of keeping that toddler appropriately busy while you're tied down for a bit! I went into motherhood of two with a few tricks up my sleeve and have found some helpful and others less helpful. Since then, I have also found a few other tools to get us through. I keep in mind that we do what works while it works and if/when it stops working, we do something different.

• Busy boxes/Independent Play Activities: If you have followed this blog for a while, you know that I value children being able to functionally play independently as much as I value playing with them. Each has its own unique benefits and I have invested a lot of time and thought into encouraging S to be able to play in his own space and own way using his own skills ideas. Many of our Table Time and Independent Play activities are great for setting up and using during times a mom is nursing a younger sibling or busy with something else. 

• SCREENS: Yes, there's a place for them and this was one suggestion I had read again and again. Use this as your toddler's screen time. There were many occasions especially in the beginning that I flipped on a video during nursing sessions and at that point it worked well. However, I noticed as we did this more frequently that it became harder to transition away from the screen afterward (i.e. tantrums about videos) and that it was also leaving S feeling somewhat empty in the attention tank. It wouldn't play out right away with attention seeking behaviors, but rather later on (remember our book tearing fiasco?) when he processed his feelings of not having spent enough time together. It is natural for him to desire my attention especially when he sees it being shared with his brother. It is impossible to feed this desire in every moment of the day, but I realized I needed a replacement activity that would leave him feeling more connected to me and less connected to the computer screen.

• Audio books are a lifesaver! They are great for the Sefirah period if you do not listen to music. We check out a selection from our local library to listen to in the car and enjoy at home as well. Now when I am nursing, I can offer (or S will request) to listen to a favorite audio book together. Sometimes S likes to read along with the hard copy of the book and at others we just listen all together. It feels as though we are sharing in the experience and does not require my hands to hold a book plus a baby that may spit up at any given moment!
• Snacks that take a long time to eat. You read that right. And I'm maybe not so proud of it, but I read this on a social media feed and it's brilliant. If you need to buy some time to nurse your infant, provide your toddler with a snack that takes a long time to eat. Maybe it's healthy homemade ices. Maybe it's a bowl of dry cereal or some nuts and raisins or a granola bar, but it keeps him occupied and satisfied (and less likely to request a snack while my hands are full)! I make sure that particularly during Y's feeding after S's naptime (always an awkward transition of timing) that snack is set up for S on the little table from which he can get up and move around when he's ready and therefore he is not restricted to eating (as in a high chair) while I am feeding his brother. He can come and go as he chooses and knows that snack stays at the table. In this way, he comes in and connects with me and plays and eats when he is hungry.

• Playdough is my favorite babysitter. Well, second or third favorite, because we actually have some amazing sitters in our lives. Playdough is something that occupies my toddler's attention for a LONG time. It's messy. He mixes colors. It's gonna require some clean up later, but it buys me some time to nurse and is an activity that S feels is novel and special. Reserving a beloved activity just for quiet times or nursing times is a great way to make an older sibling feel special rather than neglected during these delicate balances of attention. 

These are things that have worked or are working right now. Many times, S simply plays during nursing and may require some verbal redirection or suggestions for activities intermittently. I'm sure we will grow through many of these tactics and find new ones as well. Stay tuned and until then....

Happy Playing!

Playtime Post: Winter Edition

We are continuing on our Winter theme this week with the addition of also playing and learning about animals in the Winter and animals in cold climates. While many of our activities, particularly earlier in the day, are more structured, we are including more opportunities for open ended play in the afternoons--particularly as cold and dark weather have us at home more often than out and about. For this week's Playtime Post, I've included some of our favorite winter-themed play activities that involve minimal set-up and preparation but maximum interest and focus! The intention with activities like this is to draw in extended periods of play that ignite their interest, imagination and creativity. There are always skills being developed through various types of play and that is, of course, an added bonus. Many times I create activities based upon an interest my child displays or if there is a particular activity that he is consistently drawn to, I might add a new element to it to draw upon his own imagination and creativity process. Some of the time, I am engaged in play and exploration with him and some of the time he is playing independently. There is, of course, no "right" or "wrong" here--playing together and playing independently both offer important opportunities for development!

My little guy has been VERY into using a glue stick and liquid glue lately, so I've included more opportunities for artwork that involves gluing. Many times, if there is a medium or element he is very interested in, it will overtake his desire to add anything else to a piece of artwork. This is totally fine and there are so many wonderful skills that are built through drawing, painting, gluing, cutting, etc. I also like to work with my son's "comfort in the familiar" to expand out of his boxes a bit. Repetition is the essence of learning at a young age, so it is natural he would want to do the same thing over and over again. With this comes a concept of the world around him, mastery of skills and a great deal of self confidence. Mixing it up a bit is also important. Adding something to a comfortable scenario can encourage creativity, adaptability and flexibility. With this Arctic Animal Snow Scene, I added in another medium--white paint with a Q-tip to use as a brush. This was "different" since it pushed beyond the "just gluing" aspect of a collage and also introduced something with paint that was NOT a typical paintbrush. And he totally went for it! He even dictated a story of what each animal was feeling and experiencing as he dabbed "snowflakes" on them and around them. He was quite proud to show his finished creation to his Tatty when he returned home from work in the evening. We happened to have these animal die cuts from the Dollar Tree on hand, but you could also use animals cut from a magazine or recycled greeting cards or stickers--anything you have on hand. Painting with Q-tips is a great way to encourage fine motor development and you likely already have them in your medicine cabinet!

Lately my son has also developed an interest in using scissors and practicing cutting. He is very early in developing scissor skills, and while he has the idea of squeezing to open and close the scissors, hand positioning is still a work in progress. Since he is interested, I am offering more opportunities to practice (with supervision, as even safety scissors have their potential risk factors). If he did not seem interested and especially if he adverse to cutting, I would certainly not push it so early. I first introduced safety scissors to him over the summer and he was initially curious but quickly grew very frustrated and made it clear he did not want to continue. I decided to re-introduce them at a later point, and when he displayed an interest in using the scissors at our Children's Museum art room, I knew it was time! At this stage, it's more about opportunity to practice than proficiency.
Cutting snowflakes is an integral winter craft that has spanned the generations. I remember doing this as a child and I'm sure you do, too! One of my favorite "fool-proof" mediums to use is white coffee filters. They are already the perfect shape for folding and cutting into beautiful snowflakes. Additionally, you can use washable markers and spray with water for some colorful results (who says snowflakes have to be white?). For this activity, proximity was important since my little guy was practicing with scissors. I definitely didn't push for him to cut "correctly" or produce a snowflake like mine. I think I had just as much fun making them! They are a fun and festive way to decorate your home or window this season.

This is definitely an activity the whole family can get involved with. All you need are scissors and white coffee filters. You can add washable markers and water if you'd like. My favorite pair of safety scissors are actually ones commonly sold at the Dollar Tree. They have a plastic lever than can be flipped across the handles to make it easier for little hands to just squeeze in order to cut and flipped back up once cutters are more advanced. Even with safety scissors and early cutters, it is important to talk about and demonstrate safety techniques for using scissors.

Setting up for successful playtimes is sometimes all about set up itself! Making playthings readily available at child level not only encourages interest and attention, but also fosters more independence in beginning and moving through playtime activities. Many times my own son does not seem to play with a toy, it is because he does not realize it's there. How it is stored and where it is stored sometimes makes all the difference. This does not mean everything is out all of the time--on the contrary, we do keep what's "out" pretty minimal. Less really is more when it comes to play. Interest and functionality in playing seems to increase when there is less in a space to distract from and detract from focus. This month I made a temporary flannel wall using a swatch of sparkly white felt for a snowy looking background. This is tacked low on our wall at child-level. Although we have a more permanent one set up in an upstairs hallway, it gets very infrequent use as the space it is in is very infrequently used! This totally drew him in. I keep our homemade winter themed felt board sets in a basket right below it and he's had a great time telling stories to go along with what he builds and creates. As an added bonus, he is gaining fine motor practice and coordination while simultaneously developing vocabulary and storytelling skills!

We also set up a winter themed sensory bin this week. I kept this one very simple--and sometimes, simple is best! We used cotton balls, scoops and recycled cardboard tubes for a Snowball Sensory Bin. Later (not pictured), I also added some foam and plastic snowflakes. He had such a great time shoveling up snowballs and putting them through the cardboard tubes. With different sized scoops, he is gaining spacial awareness and he is definitely practicing those fine motor skills, too. One of my favorite parts is that a larger filler material means more independence on his part when it comes to cleaning up any spills or strays. Admittedly, as often as I swap and fill my sensory bins, I don't always get them out for play. Either I forget about it (as it's tucked away between play sessions) or I am too lazy to go through the process of getting out a drop mat, having time to play and then time to clean it up...there's my guilty confession for the day! So if you, like me, feel yourself getting into a rut with certain play activities, it's totally OK to find a loophole or hack! For me, this was choosing a filler that didn't require a drop mat and assistance at clean up time. We love our rice and beans, but cotton balls, you are a Mom's best friend right now! (And I think the toddler is a fan, too...)

We are huge Magnetiles fans here. This is another toy my son goes back to again and again. His activities are repetitive with them, and with this, he demonstrates his ability to master skills (like building a cube) that he once required help with. As he becomes more confident and comfortable, I like to mix it up a little bit and expand on his play. We've added toy cars and trucks and made a parking garage. We've added Fisher Price Little People and built cities. We even added jingle bells for some noisy, magnetic fun! This week, I created a winter animals themed small world basket. I included some Arctic animal figurines we had, some cotton stuffing as "snow," some blue glass gems as "ice" (found in floral departments of craft stores or the Dollar Tree--just make sure to choose a large enough size with little ones not to pose a choking hazard and supervise play with small parts in general!), some "evergreen trees" made from cardboard tubes and construction paper, and a recycled container "cave" for our resident bear! He's enjoyed using the items in the basket on their own and here, he enjoyed building an "ice castle" together with his Magnetiles. Initially I sat with him and engaged in play and storytelling, and as we continued, he "took over." His Tatty even had fun joining in the game when he got home a few minutes later!

And there you have it! Some winter themed playtime fun for your little ones (or bigger ones) to keep you warm and busy this season. Happy Playing!

An Updated Peek In Our Playroom

Home decorating and interior design are admittedly not strengths of mine. I've never really had an eye for these types of aesthetics and to this day, I think a centerpiece is something casually placed off-center on the table to cover up a stain on the tablecloth. I've often been told (maybe in a complimentary manner?) that my home resembles a preschool classroom and I guess after spending the better part of the last decade inside of one, that does feel like home to me! 

Even in setting up my classrooms over the year, aesthetics were often not my personal strength. I can look inside classrooms and appreciate what others do and even mimic it in my own, but my main purpose in set-up has always been function and ease of access. Are materials accessible to children to successfully use independently? Can they reach items they need and see things at their level that are visually stimulating and helpful to the learning process? Can I (the slightly taller adult) easily access materials I need very quickly (like towels and writing/art supplies)? Does the room flow in a way that makes sense to spend our day and move through activities? Does the space represent who lives there? In other words, if it is a room devoted to children, is their life, world and work represented or does it look like an office cubicle or dental exam room?

There are a few core tools that are the foundation of what I have learned over the years in terms of functional set up of a play and learning area both in the classroom. 

• Less is more. When EVERYTHING is out and available, NOTHING gets used. When I have too many toys on the shelf or in an area, my son starts to play with things that are not toys. The same goes for the students I have taught. On the one hand, we think that everything is visible and accessible and this gives ample opportunity to select and use things independently and functionally. What usually ends up happening is focus on one or two things or dumping out of a lot of things. When just a few items are selectively and carefully placed at child level, it draws in the focus and attention that lead to successful independent play and exploration.

• Toy/material Rotation is an Amazing Reset Button! Even favorite books and toys get stale after a while. You can usually tell when this happens because they lie abandoned in a corner or children will start to use a material in a less functional way (like dumping our ALL of the Legos). When you see boredom strike in a room FULL of things to do, it's time to change it up. I tend not to do massive playroom overhauls because I find it personally disorienting when a room totally changes on me and I feel that children do as well. Some children are more sensitive to changes (small or large) than others. That said, I think small, incremental changes are a useful tool for mitigating rigidity. I personally have some rigidity quirks about change that could use tweaking in this way and I see also how my son now gets very used to something being kept one way in one place and needs support to adapt. Simple and incremental toy and book rotations in our main play and living area have really supported this area of growth for him (and, um, for me). Sometimes that means taking one item out of the scene and swapping it for another. Other times it can mean setting up the same material in a new way or in a new space. (*Some examples will follow in the photos below.)

• Clean As You Go. This was a little adage my mother taught me as a girl when she was giving me lessons in the kitchen on baking and it's one I struggle to continue learning myself and teaching to my students and my son. My own little guy is remarkable self-motivated to clean up. He may have inherited certain qualities from his hater-of-messes-and-clutter mom. Nonetheless, I do try to initiate cleaning up one item if he is done using it before moving on to a new activity. I am not rigid in this are if something is a work and progress and will be returned to at a later time. One thing that can be very challenging for children in home environments as well as classroom ones is parting with a project they have worked very hard on before they are done. This is particularly applicable to block buildings and Lego structures. Sometimes it is possible to allow a structure to stand, out of the way, and be returned to later for play. Other times when it is not, I utilize cameras and journaling as a way to record what has been accomplished and that is often just the tactic needed to encourage timely transition from the activity and involvement in cleaning up. In the home environment it is inevitable that the house will look lived in and it should! I minimize my own clean-ups to once or twice a day, either at nap and bedtime or just at bedtime.

• Who lives here anyway?! My classrooms and my home proudly represent their inhabitants. In my classroom that meant that while it was a room for the children, my world was also represented. Children's toys and books lined the shelves within their reach. Artwork and photos were displayed within their view. Photos of my family and objects that brought me joy (as well as materials I needed access to) lined shelves within my reach. Our living room at home is much the same. We live in a relatively small space. We have tall bookshelves overflowing with our seforim (Jewish texts), cookbooks, literature, and resources pertinent to both my husband's and my own career and personal interests. Shelves on the bottom now mostly contain toys and materials relevant to our toddler's interests. We have framed artwork, paintings and photos of famous rebbes and meaningful depictions of Jewish life and prayer. We also have paper airplanes, mitzvah notes and arts and crafts projects hanging alongside. We have hooks where we hang our hats, coats, bags and accessories. Lower down on the wall, we have hooks where my son hangs his coats and bags that he can independently access. It's not perfect, it's always evolving and my husband definitely does not have a man cave here. In fact, I don't think any "adult space" actually exists in our home right now, but we like it that way. Every room in our home is part and parcel to creating and recreating our family structure in every moment of every day.

• Use what you have! There are so many amazing ideas out there on Pinterest, blogs, books, Facebook groups and I'm always gleaning great ideas from fellow parents and educators. I'd have a shopping list 10 feet long each week if I bought every new material required for these activities (and a debt list just as long to accompany it). I tweak projects and activities and use what we have in alternate ways. I also shop with this intent in mind. If I am purchasing a toy or supply, I want it to have either many functions of use down the line or a decent shelf life to be able to use it more than once.

• Revisit and reassess: if/when it stops working, try something different. In spite of best intentions, clutter does build up. When things stop being functional or easily accessible, I make changes. I have an inherited quality of holding on to things I think might be useful for using or teaching with later on down the line. I can part with old clothes and other material things but just try to pry that empty toilet paper tube or brown paper bag out of my hand, I dare you! Sometimes it gets to be too much though. I have a rule when that happens that if I don't have a purpose for it in mind, it goes out the door. I aim to purchase and/or save only items that will have many lives and uses in their time. Nonetheless, you can't take it all with you and sometimes you need to do a massive purge to donate, throw away or otherwise part with things that don't have a purpose anymore. The same goes for all of those artwork creations. We make a point to display things as my son creates them. Certain things I do save in my files for future use (we right now have Thanksgiving decorations up that we made together last year) or reference. Other things I capture in photograph for the memory and part with after they have been given adequate air and wall time. 

And with that in mind, here's a little updated peek into our playroom: 

I call this our Nature Observation Station. I keep it stocked throughout the year with finds from nature walks or other relevant seasonal items. I provide and swap out tools to go along with it such as magnifying glasses, containers, tweezers, etc. The bin on the right is a small sensory bin of dried corn kernels with two dishes and a spoon for transferring (one of my son's favorite activities)!

One way I display artwork and seasonal decorations. I've used and created several different garlands (this is actually a couple of Autumn leaf garlands from our Dollar Tree that I bought for our play sukkah). Clothes pins or paperclips can be used to hang and display artwork without damaging artwork or the wall with tacks/tape. We also display certain items directly on walls as well as with magnets on our refrigerator and front door. This is visually at adult level and our living room has limited wall space in child view. We do display artwork at child level in my son's bedroom.

This shelf is usually devoted to building toys and manipulatives. This week it has a theme related focus: building a teivah (ark) for the story of Noach (Noah).

When we explore new themes in our homeschooling, I incorporate theme related toys or combinations of toys. Here is a little Noah's Ark activity I set up for learning about that parsha this coming week.

I swap out seasonal and theme related books as we learn about different topics. If my son has certain favorites, I aim to leave at least a couple on the shelf even if we complete a theme. I often set out a small basket as well of theme related materials or toys that can accompany a book or be used for story telling.

In a small space, all space is used! We have a deep freezer in our living room because many of the kosher foods we buy are not locally accessible and we need to order and purchase in bulk. It would probably be an eyesore to many, but we love its magnetic surface and child height level for play and learning. It's a great place to display and use letter magnets, shape magnets, or, in this case, seasonal magnets. I've heard you can use refrigerator surfaces as well for dry erase markers but I'm still a little afraid to encourage drawing on some walls/surfaces without simultaneously encouraging it on other ones!

This is our revamped dramatic play area. We recently parted with a falling apart wooden kitchen set we inherited on its initial course to the dumpster from a neighbor. We squeezed another good year plus of life out of it before hauling it the rest of the way. My son LOVES playing "kitchen" but for some reason, hardly ever used the majority of his own kitchen toys that were stored in the old kitchen's large cabinets. This one, purchased secondhand at a thrift store, has much smaller cabinets so I emptied a set of plastic drawers holding a bunch of junk I needed to throw away from my own closet and used it for his play food, dishes and household items. Like magic, he's suddenly playing with and accessing all of this toys and he spends hours here over the course of each day!

We love these block style shelving units here. They hold a minimal amount of toys/materials and that limited space helps me to maintain my "less is more" philosophy. The top row is used for art and sensory materials my son can independently access (I drape a large scarf over the top shelf during Shabbos or times I don't want him to access these materials). We use the bottom rows for other toys and materials and these are items I swap out or move every couple of weeks or so as he gets bored or stops playing with them.

As we learn about Parshas Noach, the story of Noah and the Ark, I am also teaching about colors and the rainbow. These toys and materials are all things we had already at home--some were even out on shelves in our playroom or in my son's room. Moving them to this area and displaying them in a new way has infused them with new life. Suddenly he's going back and forth all day to that shelf and taking out the puzzles or materials to use with me or independently. Toy rotations are useful to a point but sometimes display method is everything!

Thanks for visiting and happy playing!

Think Outside the Box Thursday: Making Art Supplies Openly Accessible to Toddlers

If you walk into the very best early childhood classrooms out there, they almost always have an accessible-to-children shelf or area designated to art, drawing and writing materials. I've always had markers, crayons, colored pencils, writing pencils, and a variety of other art supplies at child-height in my classrooms as well as a variety of papers and materials to use them on and with. Why then, in my home, did I keep all of the art supplies I so frequently used with my toddler on a shelf only an adult could reach? That question actually never crossed my mind until I read a blog post (that now for the life of me I cannot find) from a fellow mother who, with 15-month-old twins, decided to keep the crayons where they could reach! It seemed crazy, novel, brilliant even. The author claimed that initially this required a good amount of support from her to remind her little artists where they could color and how to care for their art supplies, but that they learned to handle this special responsibility and now, at the age of 4, had a genuine and creative love of art.
At the time, I was working out of the house and putting the responsibility of helping foster this level of artistic independence in my toddler seemed perhaps like a lot to put on my wonderful babysitter. Nonetheless, I was ready to take the plunge. I took my toddler, who was a few months shy of two at the time, to a discount store and we picked out a plastic pencil case with a lid. We purchased a box of large crayons and a pack of short markers that would be just his. We came home and used some stickers to decorate his art box and I wrote his name on it with permanent marker. I explained to him that these were his special art supplies and he could use them when he wanted to. He needed to keep coloring things at the table and only color on paper. Last of all, I cleared off a shelf at his level and we put his art box along with an old notebook and some coloring books in their new special spot. This venture did indeed require my close proximity and frequent reminders at first. It was not without its snafus, but when they did occur, we reiterated the rules, got a couple of rags together and some homemade diluted castile soap spray cleaner, and wiped up the mistake before continuing to work (or taking a break from coloring if necessary). More and more, I was able to step back, to provide occasional support with a marker cap or a reminder to pick up a fallen crayon. My son gained confidence, self-sufficiency and the opportunities to color and create that nurture so many developmental areas in toddlerhood.

I may not be able to hear you call my name from across the room, but I know the sound of marker on the wall from all the way upstairs--which is exactly where I was when this happened, changing my clothes after work. That book he's holding? It's a decoy for the marker that he hid under his table--the place it was supposed to stay...

Yup, I heard it right. And check out that other marker on the stairs! I didn't see that one over there until just now, nearly 3 months later! I didn't yell or scream...all I had to do was walk down the stairs and he started crying (gotta love toddler guilt). So we walked to the kitchen, grabbed a couple of rags on the way and washed it off together.

And we got back on the proverbial horse. I even let him use my markers--on the paper and at the table. Incidentally, he tried this one again on my very last day of work this past year while the babysitter was with him. Same deal--he helped me wash it off when I got home, only that time, we did close off open access for a few days and offer supervised opportunities to practice using his markers and crayons in their proper space. Art is a work in progress; so is toddlerhood.

Here's a current peek at our art shelf:

 I still do not keep ALL of our arts and crafts materials out and accessible. I do keep a box of markers and crayons that are just his (yes, I admittedly have my own, too). I keep a can stocked with some colored pencils. We have both standard pencils and more toddler-friendly ones available (triangular shape and shorter stature for easier grip and function). When it comes to pre-writing and using writing utensils, there are two main schools of thought. One is that little hands do best with objects designed to be used successfully in them. Generally speaking, writing utensils are wider, sturdier, sometimes triangular in shape to assist with grip and shorter than a standard pen/pencil so that the distance between hand and writing surface is not so substantial. The second school of thought is that if a child is not yet ready to properly hold a standard pencil or marker and use it successfully that he/she is not yet ready to use such a material at all and will be more successful with materials like a crayon. I am an adult who does not properly hold my pencil and I refuse to write only in crayon until I learn. That said, I adhere to both schools of thought and provide opportunities for my son as well as my students to try a variety of coloring and writing instruments. The only time I would withhold one altogether is if it caused genuine frustration to a child or posed a significant safety hazard.
In addition to these common coloring materials, I also keep a set of Do-a-Dot markers accessible and a basket of these ALEX Metallic Creamy Crayons I found on discount at Five & Below (which, incidentally is a great location to find discounted art supplies). I keep a basket of scrap paper, coloring sheets, notebooks and coloring books my son can use as he wishes. Materials could be swapped out and replaced to maintain novelty or opportunity to try new things.

I do keep a large scarf tucked underneath my stash of mommy supplies up top that I can easily drape down to keep supplies out of sight when they are off limits (like over Shabbat or a Jewish holiday or if we are having a lot of company over).

Alternatively if you would like to try to allow for more open access without the potential for coloring on your furniture, walls, or other children, you can use an easel or designated wall space for a pad of paper and use string (not too long as to pose a choking hazard or be able to move far beyond the work space) and tie/duct tape on some markers or crayons to be used in that area.

Happy coloring, writing & creating!

Mad Science Monday: Snow in August Small World Scene

We are continuing on our Un-planning, Un-themed, Unadulterated End of Summer Fun with this favorite Unseasonably fun Science/Sensory activity I'm now calling "Snow in August."

Here's a photo of the first time we tried out this activity, on an actual snow day in January!

Before I go into setting up this playful Arctic scene, I'd like to give a shout out to the great source I received the idea from: 150+ Screen-Free Activities for Kids by Asia Citro, MEd, author as well of the wonderful blog FunAtHomeWithKids.com. This activity can be found in the small worlds section of the book, under the title "Penguin World." 

Small world play describes activities that often combine sensory materials with figurines, small dolls or other small toys to encourage imaginative play and storytelling. Older preschoolers can truly begin to delve into the abstract end of this and develop strong storytelling skills while even the younger ones can benefit from the earlier development of dramatic play skills not to mention the fine motor practice and sensory skills. Earlier on, small world play may require adult involvement to encourage role-playing and story telling and different ways to use the materials. More and more, adults can step back and little ones can delve into their creative play scenes. These activities can fill a fifteen minute time slot or captivate for hours! Although this one has the potential to be quite messy, they can also be composed of dry (and less messy) materials. For the messier ones, I do recommend use of a drop cloth beneath your work space for easy clean up. When it comes to miniatures and figurines you might add to a small world scene, you can go out and purchase sets of animals and dolls to use for a range of costs, but you can also find a lot of these items at thrift stores, dollar stores, party favors and the occasional box of cereal. In other words, it need not break the bank--better yet, use what you have and don't go crazy, less is often more in small world play. Remember--little ones only have two small hands to play with!

Snow in August Small World Scene

You will need:

• a large plastic bin, baking dish or container to work from
• water to prepare your ice (see below)
• blue food coloring or liquid watercolor
• cornstarch
• glass gems (optional, can be found in the floral department of craft or discount stores)
• plastic penguins, polar bears and other desired Arctic animals

Prepare ahead:

Prepare any or all of the following ice options:

• Using any plastic storage container, fill with water and add a few drops of blue food coloring or liquid water color. Freeze, preferably overnight for your iceberg (which my son calls an "iceburger").
• Fill and freeze an ice cube tray as well for additional blocks of ice for building an igloo!
• Partially fill and freeze water in the base of your plastic bin or baking dish for an ice sheet.
• You can also have a lot of fun adding crushed ice.

Time to PLAY:

• Using a shallow bin or baking pan, set up your iceberg and ice blocks as desired. Pour a generous amount of cornstarch over the ice.
• Add your figurines and Arctic animals and glass gems if using

As little ones play and explore, they will enjoy the soft texture of the cornstarch snow and the cold, slippery ice. The added science bonus that earned this post its Mad Science Monday slot is that as the ice melts, the water will combine with the cornstarch to create a non-Newtonian fluid commonly known in the world of early childhood as Ooblek. This mixture behaves like a solid under pressure but a liquid when left to its own devices and can inspire hours of exploration on its own. In that sense, you can leave the activity for a while if your junior scientist is done playing or you need to tend to something else and then return later to enjoy the Ooblek. Alternatively, if you'd like to reach the Ooblek stages a little bit sooner, you can do what we did this time and add a bit of water to the scene.

Tuesday Table Time: Homemade Playdough

Playdoughs are a sensory material that can be enjoyed from a very young age all the way through adulthood. Even very little ones can appreciate exploring taste safe and homemade options. There's a lot of great playdoughs, clays and similar sensory materials on the market available at craft and hobby stores and there are also a lot of wonderful recipes to make your own using ingredients you already have to some more obscure ones. My son could play with playdough every day and likely never tire of it. I do keep a stock of the store-bought stuff on hand but I also love the process of making my own and he's now at the age where he can really appreciate climbing up on his step-stool and helping out with the process in the kitchen.

The most common recipe I use for playdough is the classic stove-top recipe below:

Ingredients:

• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 1/4 cup salt
• 2 TBSP cream of tartar
• 1 TBSP vegetable oil
• 1 cup water

Optional additional ingredients: 

To add color:

food coloring, liquid watercolor or tempura paint

To add scent:

 extracts, essential oils, spices

To add texture:

glitter, beads, sequins

Directions:

Mix first 3 ingredients in a medium pot. Add remaining ingredients and stir. Cook and continue to stir over medium heat about 3-5 minutes. The mixture will start to thicken and become lumpy. Continue to cook and stir until it forms a blob in the middle of the pot. Remove from heat. The dough will be quite hot so handle cautiously at first--this is not the part little ones should help with! Once it is cool enough to handle, knead on a nonstick surface (I use a vinyl cutting mat or placemat) and it is ready to play with and explore. Dough can be stored and saved in a ziplock back or airtight container for at least a few weeks.

I am a minimalist when we first start with playdough. I like to introduce it unscented with no color and no tools at first. Touching and kneading alone can provide a great deal of enjoyment and fascination for little ones. A "blank" dough is also a great way to explore mixing colors. You can add one primary color and then another using food colors or paint (note that food color can stain hands for quite a while when it is not yet mixed in, so you may want to use rubber gloves or mix in a ziplock bag). Adding tools like plastic knives or cookie cutters can add to the level of exploration as well. Again, I take a minimalist approach, providing only one or a few tools at a time on many occasions rather than a whole bin of options. I am also always intrigued by the ideas my son comes up with on his own of what to use as a "tool!" 

We use playdough at least once a week as a Table Time activity. It can easily be related to a theme by adding appropriate tools, toys and accessories:

Purple Peppermint Playdough with Construction Vehicles for our Transportation Theme

Hope you have fun digging in, getting your hands doughy and as always, happy playing!

Tuesday Table Time: Invitation to Doodle & Draw

This week's Table Time is a great one for a rainy day. In fact, this is one we did on just such an occasion. We used white craft/butcher paper to cover the length of our dining room table, although you can also do this on a child's table or even the floor. I set up a different material at each of several of our seats and let my son doodle and draw at each of the stations at his own pace. We used crayons, markers, do-a-dots, chalk pastels and "creamy crayons." If you're feeling extra adventurous or have older children who need less support and could help support younger ones, you can also add watercolors and other paints. This would be fun as well with stamps and ink pads, stickers, collage materials... Something about a large work space and an open invitation to create is enough to add new life to old familiar art materials. Whether it's 100 degrees and sunny or pouring rain, this is a great way to captivate the attention and creativity of artists of all ages. My husband liked the finished product so much, he suggested we put a plastic table cover over it and use it as our Shabbos tablecloth that week!