Photo Friday: Smile, You're On Candid Camera

"Smile, you're on candid camera!" My husband tells the story that when he was a little boy, he would say this to his mother whenever she was sad in order to cheer her up. We are, however, the least photogenic family you may ever meet. I can take a "candid" shot of my kids, but from the time of their first ultrasounds until now, it is nearly impossible to get everyone (let alone anyone) to pose for a photo. Nonetheless, I usually make at least a few unsolicited photo posts on Facebook each week for my family and friends' non-requested viewing pleasure.
One of my most recent Facebook Photo Dumps was on Wednesday of this week. It was a busy day! We harvested some tomatoes in the garden and the boys had a picnic snack out back, helped me weed the garden and deposited their collection into our composter. That afternoon, I ran our nature based playgroup meet up. If you saw my Facebook wall, you saw cheery red tomatoes, children having a pretend tea party in the sprinkler park, making wooden peg doll fairies and magic wands. Most of my posts are chipper and cheery like this. If you're keen on details, you might notice a basket of unfolded laundry photo bombing the background or that my kids' faces are covered in ketchup or mud... But most of the time, I keep it Kodak worthy, non-posing candid expressions and all.

Not pictured on my Facebook wall on Wednesday was my other project of the day, creatively redecorating the front fender of our car on my way to an appointment. Yes, we have a great Auto-mechanic Dramatic Play theme happening here, no, I did not intend to bring the fun and learning quite that close to home. Indeed, my little incident happened right around the corner from our home. In fact, just the day before, I'd been thinking to myself that after some circumstances this summer of seemingly bad mazal, I have never been in a car accident as a driver. "Probably if that's going to happen, it will be this summer," I thought to myself. Or the next day? I should think a little less. Or at least more positively. Here, let's try it again: "Probably if I'm going to win the lottery without buying a ticket, it will be this summer."  From my lips to G-d's ears!

So as soon as I safely pulled over to the shoulder of the road, I mentally crossed that one off my Bucket List, called my husband and called the police. Thank G-d, no one was injured, no report needed to be filed, just an exchange of information for insurance. My drivers' license is unscathed, my passenger seat license to give a running monologue of unsolicited feedback to my husband about his driving including remarks about his own driving record may have a few points against it now. Nonetheless, he's been only kind and supportive.

When the officer showed up, he looked incredibly familiar. Why? Because I have a huge 5x7 photo of this guy in my living room. Why? Because it is one of the only photos in existence where S is smiling and striking a pose. This guy visits our preschool every year during Community Helpers Week and teaches our children about being a police officer and how to stay safe.

"Hello Living Room Cop" I said as I rolled down the passenger window. Just kidding! Honestly, I was on my best behavior because it happens to be that my car looks and smells like something dead might be hidden in the trunk and I haven't actually looked in there to be sure. My husband says it's his gym clothes, but it's honestly so bad in there, I intentionally drive it to the gym as opposed to our van because I know that if I look my purse inside and park next to a Porsche, no one will try to break in while I'm working out. 

So as I retrieved my registration and insurance info from the only clean and tidy portion of my car, the glove compartment, I also retrieved a small bit of advice given to me early in my marriage from a good friend:

"The word gynecologist makes people uncomfortable; always say OB."

Yes folks, I was on my way to a check up with my OB, looking forward to a morning of drinking coffee alone, laying back and putting my feet up. And yes, folks, I used the g word with Living Room Cop.

"Thank you so much, sir." I said as Living Room Cop handed back my license and registration. I was supposed to be at the gynecologist now and I'm not sure which is worse, but I think I like you better."

And that, ladies and gents, is how you very quickly wrap up a simple exchange of insurance information in a minor car accident. It is also how you make a grown man turn the color of a tomato. Say it with me now: gynecologist. Gynecologist. 

But this is not really a post about my photography skillz, my medical vocabulary or even my creative exterior auto design projects. It is actually a post about resilience. As mentioned above, we've had some circumstances in the last several weeks that I had thought of as bad mazal. Prior to having children, the feeling of being down on my luck might have been enough to knock me off the horse once and keep me there. Not now. In fact, with kids, when you're knocked off the horse, it's not only imperative that you get back on right away, it's also imperative that you ride said horse to the library for Story Time and then to the park and sprinkler playground to run your nature based playgroup. If you happen to damage one of your horses in the course of a day, you also need to get back on that horse and safely park it until an insurance claim can be filled and repairs can be made. You will feel immensely grateful and lucky to have a second horse in these instances. And the truth is, those feelings of immense luck and gratitude are far more helpful than the ones that tell you this is probably the summer you're going to fall of the horse for the first time!

Why is resilience so important? It's not just an act of "keeping it together for the kids." It's a genuine state of seeing the silver lining and grasping it with all your might while simultaneously letting go of all that other "stuff." Children perceive so much. As a little boy, my husband could perceive that his mother was sad at times and even if he didn't know why, he already knew that the best antidote was to turn that frown upside down and smile. So we've had some snafus here and there and thank G-d, they have always resolved and settled. We've also had a lot of fun this summer. And a lot of smiles (some even caught on camera, quite by accident). We might look back on this summer one day and remember it as the one that could play back like a bad country song or we might look back and remember it as the first one we spent as a family of five. The first one we stayed up late enough to see July 4th fireworks. The first one where my kids would see all 5 of their grandparents. The one where we went to the zoo on a Tuesday. The one where we got free Slurpees on 7/11. The one where we went to two different libraries in one day. The one where Mommy got to talk to Living Room Cop right from the passenger seat window. Yup, this summer is going to be epic. I'm not down on my luck, I'm high on my horse.

There's a popular Yiddish saying: tracht gut vet zein gut, think good and it will be good. It's important to travel light when it comes to negative thinking; you need all the room you can spare for the good stuff. We'll be back with more of that good stuff soon and until then...

Happy Playing!