Troubleshooting Tuesday: The Cleanup Conundrum

 I was recently listening to an episode of a new (to me) favorite Podcast, Loose Parts Nature Play entitled "Strategies for Cleaning Up With Loose Parts." The voice (and person) behind this incredible podcast (and website) is Dr. Carla Gull, an educator, outdoor teacher and expert on loose parts play and nature based learning. I am so inspired by her work and wisdom. I will humbly admit, however, that while I consider myself progressive as a parent and educator, I'm not quite at the point of maturity and wisdom myself where I can look at my living room carpet covered in blocks, rocks, peg dolls and fairy furniture at 8PM and see it as "play residue" and not, well, a giant mess. But hearing her (and others') framework on concept of mess versus evidence of play did raise my awareness and curiosity on the matter...

What do you see? Is it a tower or a mess? We took
this photo before it was time to clean up so it can
be added to our BluePrints Book for ideas
and instructions on future buildings...

Oh, the cleanup conundrum. The struggle is real. In the classroom. In the yard. In the playroom. At home. In the car. It follows us, well, wherever they do! We've all stepped on a Lego. Tears have been shed. Sometimes even blood. Toys have been broken, lost, abandoned, neglected. There have been battles, even outright wars. There has been bargaining, yelling, negotiating. Songs have been sung. Timers have been set. Prompts have been given and warnings and threats and consequences. Excuses have been made. Tantrums have been thrown. Toys have been thrown. Expletives have been thrown. All over the single, simple sentence: "It's time to clean up."

So let's unpack this a bit--I warn you, it may get messy in here...

Only One Word
We have a lot of words and phrases for what the children do with the toys and materials of the ECE classroom or home playroom. Free play. Choice Time. Table Time. Work Time. Play time. Centers. Small Groups. We have a lot of words and phrases for the spaces used for this activity. Playroom. Stations. Work Space. Block Area. Dramatic Play Center. Art Center. Writing Center. Toy box. Kids' Room. Science Lab. Math Shelf. Atelier. Backyard. Playground. But when it's "that time" all of a sudden their work, play, choice, building, center, math, art, writing, science experiment all becomes synonymous with one word: mess. Clean up this mess.

Imagine...
Imagine you have just spent two and a half hours painting a true work of art on canvas. Someone in an authoritative position now comes up to you and says, "Ok, it's clean up time. Time to wipe all of that messy paint off your canvas!" Perhaps she gave you a prompt five minutes ago. "In five minutes, we're going to be wiping off that canvas!" Perhaps he came ringing a little bell. She maybe even sang a song about it while traipsing around the room and perhaps he's also dimmed the lights to, you, know, set the ambiance or pace.

Imagine you have just finished typing a 24 page research paper on your computer. You spent hours pondering your topic. You took multiple trips to the library finding books. You spent weeks drafting, editing and rewriting. You are almost done. And a prompt pops up on your screen. "Click DELETE ALL to Clean Up This Mess!" There is only one button; it serves only that function.

Imagine you have spent the afternoon baking an apple pie from scratch. You rolled the dough, you peeled and sliced the apples, you even made several tiny apple shapes out of pie crust to decorate the top. You baked it to golden, buttery perfection; you can't wait to dig into it later and share this act of labor and love with your family. And a timer goes off. Time to clean up this mess and return all of those ingredients to their proper space! Put the flour back in the bag, the butter back in the fridge. Put those eggs back in their shells and return the peels to those apples. Cinnamon goes in the spice jar. That's not where the baking powder belongs... Bit by bit, bite by bite, your pie is returned to its original form: a bag of flour, a pack of butter, a carton of eggs, a bushel of red, ripe apples...

It would feel completely unsettling and disorienting to see our "work" dismantled in this way. We would feel an enormous sense of loss and violation. And if it happened repeatedly multiple times each and every day? We would probably intuit that our work has little value or meaning to begin with. Why, when we know that play is the work of the child, do we expect them to feel differently when we frolic over to their work space, waving a colorful ribbon wand in the air and gleefully singing "I looked at my watch and what did it say? It's time to put the toys away!"

I've seen it (and probably done it) all:
It's too heavy. I'm too tired. I have to go to the bathroom. I can't do it by myself. But I'm not done! I don't want to clean up!

And then, the battle ensues. Do we give up? Do we give in? Do we take away privileges or toys? Do we offer praise or rewards? Do we shrug it off, avert our eyes and sweep in with the toy bin or even the trash bag later on when they're finally out of the room or asleep?

Why is clean up time always a battle? From avoidance to bargaining to denial and outright shouting matches, clean up time has been a state of chaos for generation upon generation. Here are some thoughts to consider:

• Associations with Transition: Clean up time is often associated with a transition. We must clean up because we're doing _____ now. Perhaps ____ is a desired activity (like going on a trip or playing outside) or, perhaps it is not (like going to bed or running an errand). Either way, it is an outside source placing parameters around time and ownership of it. You are done because I said you are done. Whether or not you are done...
• Associations with Value of Work: He sees the rug as his canvas. The blocks and loose parts strewn across it are his paint strokes. This resembles a pig sty to you; to him it is a masterpiece. When you ask him to clean up his toys, you are placing your measure of value over his. You see it is toys--playthings, objects that have a proper place and function. He sees it as a work of art and the toys were the medium by which he expressed it. To you, they are transient--their function is to entertain and then return to the shelf. To him, they were meant to be permanent (or at least last a bit longer). They were part of his masterpiece meant to invoke wonder and curiosity and joy. To you, they are beautiful when they are neatly displayed on the toy shelf. To him, they were beautiful when strewn across the rug. 
• Ownership of Pace: When it is play time, we don't walk around the room urging children to hurry up and play faster. Why then, do we feel justified in walking around the room urging children to clean up faster?
• Ownership of Space: In play, children own their space. They have freedom to decide on the function, position and purpose of toys and materials. They run the show, they navigate the ship, they claim the land. At clean up time, all of a sudden (ok, maybe after a 5 minute warning), the space, the show, the ship and the land return to us as we request and require that they return to the toy bin.

  

  I'm enough of a nerd about play to be super
  excited when Y is demonstrating the developmental
  play schema to line things up. But how will I respond
  when it's time to clean up? Will I still honor his work of
  art and design or does it belong in the bowl on the shelf?

And so we can see some of the factors that play into making clean up time more difficult. Play belongs to the child. But the value of it, the time frame, the space in which it occurs and ceases to occur all belongs to us, the adult. Add to that our frequent encouragements and requests that both of these elements be done independently. We want our children to play independently and navigate that process on their own. We value their ability to engage and remain engaged. And then, suddenly, simultaneously, we devalue it and diminish it. Now it must stop. Now it is over. Now they must independently engage and remain engaged in dismantling, disassembling and destroying everything they spent the last hour breathing into existence. Not exactly an ideal scenario when you think about it that way. 

Imagine if some other entity had gone to G-d back in the time of Creation and said:

Other Entity: "G-d, this is great! You did a wonderful job making light and darkness, the heavens and the seas, the vegetation and the fish and birds and the planets and the sun and the stars and the moon... And the animals? The people? The Sabbath? It's incredible! I love it! And what's most impressive? You didn't need my help! I didn't have to give You my input or my attention or anything at all--You did this all on Your own. So now, I am sure it will come as neither a surprise nor an inconvenience that I'd also like You to quickly and quietly put this all back where it belongs without my input, attention or anything at all. All on Your own."

G-d: "But Other Entity, I wasn't done! I want to keep using this! It's better this way. Before, it was just chaos."

Other Entity: "Oh, G-d, silly G-d. Everything has a place and those stars and planets belong on the bottom left of the middle shelf. You know, if You'd practice a little thing my Mommy called CAYG, Clean As You Go and put the sheep away before You took out Adam and Eve, this would be a lot easier..."

OK, so that's an extreme example. We cannot realistically live and function in shared spaces where things are never cleaned up and put away, whether that is at home or in a classroom. We also cannot realistically eliminate the need to transition from one activity to another at specific times. Every person has a different threshold for containing "the mess" and every person has to decide in their space what that looks like. Here are a few ideas to consider and from there you can test and tinker with what works for you and the individuals in your space:

• Can There Be a Space for Works in Progress? Frequently children in my care (and home) will ask if I can save a building or playdough sculpture or activity for them. When I can , I try to allow for a space where these can remain. Sometimes children do return to this. Sometimes they don't. Either way, it conveys a message of value in their work and their ownership of their time and environment. I do, in those instances, still ask my kids to put away the parts or at least organize the parts that are not currently in use.
• Documentation: When a child is particularly attached to a structure or temporary creation that cannot be saved past a particular time, I offer an option of documentation. Children can take a photo of their work or with their work. S and I have actually been stocking up on photos of block buildings for a "Blueprints Book." They can draw their work on paper. They can write directions on how to build a building again. They can write, dictate or draw a reminder on a sticky note that they would like to do this activity when we get back or first thing in the morning, etc.
• Engage and Include Them In the Process: When it comes to sharing a space and keeping it functional for everyone, it's important to take into consideration everyone's view and vision. Invite every member of your living or learning space to include input and ideas for how things might be kept in between use. Everything has a place where it belongs, but perhaps we can engage and include children in that arrangement. There may be a reason a child is more reluctant to put an item in a particular spot. Perhaps a heavier basket of blocks is difficult to return to a high shelf. Or maybe it feels more comforting to have a favorite doll visible in the dramatic play area than stuffed away in a basket. Asking questions and inviting children to the process of arranging your classroom or playroom setup is a great way to empower them in the process of play (and cleanup) and it doesn't mean you have to always say yes. You can offer choices and alternatives that work for everyone.
• Name it: And when the unavoidable task is daunting but still necessary, sometimes just naming the feeling helps to shrink it (and the associated task) back down to manageable size. "You feel really rushed right now and you wish you could have more time with your play." "It's really hard to be done when you don't feel done." "It feels really hard and the job feels really big. Let's work together and decide what to do first."
• Did You Remember to Teach the Full Lesson? One of the things I think we often forget and neglect as parents and educators is to teach the full lesson of our play and learning space. We are thoughtful and intentional in how we set up the room. We might also give direct lessons on how to use items and materials around the space. But did we also teach and show our children how and where to put things away? Pictures and labels can be helpful in some environments, and physically carrying out a lesson in carrying a toy back to its location can go a huge distance in promoting independence for children to navigate their time and work in this space from start to finish. It can potentially reduce some of the challenge of cleaning up, particularly if some of it arises from not knowing how to put the things away.
• Give Choices and Tools for Cleanup: We've all been there. The sink is overflowing with dishes. The hampers have exploded Mount Washmore onto every surface of the bedroom and beyond. The task at hand is daunting. To a degree, however, we have choices and tools. I have a sponge and dish soap. I have a washer and dryer. I have a husband who helps! I can choose to fold the laundry with him while we watch a show. I can choose to do the dairy dishes and he does the meat. Given adequate choices and tools, cleanup tasks can feel a little less daunting. Sometimes I get creative with kids. Mr. Munch the Block Basket is very hungry and he wants to eat all of the red blocks first. A sensory table is a great place to hang and store a dust pan and dust brush. Children often love the tasks of sweeping, washing, wiping and using just about any type of "real" adult tool (and child-sized versions are readily available). They may need some direction in how to use these items, but given the right tools for the job, they can and often love to help. 
• Keeping Expectations in Check: And I think it is also important to be reasonable in expectations. Sometimes that means asking my 2 year old to pick up 2 toys or my 4 year old to pick up 4 toys at the library before it's time to leave. Sometimes that means providing a reminder in play time that it is sometimes easier to work in a space that is free from clutter of toys and materials not currently in use or that the task at the end of our time in a play area may feel less overwhelming if we clean a bit as we go and shift from activity to activity. I do generally make that a choice in our home--you can clean up the window blocks now to make room for the magnetiles or we can put it all away at the very end. If my kids are literally stepping on and tripping over things to the detriment of the toys themselves and their own tiny toes, we do take a break to reorganize/rearrange. There are days that we are all amazing contributors and helpers in this house. Everyone works together, everyone does their share. At the end of the night, everything is put in place. Other days, not so much. Maybe my husband does more of the laundry and dishes these days. Maybe we both sometimes end up cleaning up the play area once the kids are asleep. The point is not to strive for perfection but rather to be open-minded to making things work well in the environment we all share as much as possible. This means that we revisit, re-evaluate and sometimes restructure.
• Keeping Quantities in Check: I'm great about this in our downstairs spaces and even outdoors. I do a lot of toy rotation and we keep our shelves and spaces minimally but adequately stocked. The kids play more functionally that way and we can all manage the space more easily during and after play times. Upstairs in their room? Not so great. I finally managed to just put bins and baskets on the shelves for all the toys and trinkets to be stored in, but let's just say that nearly every day during his "nap time," a certain Y gets out of bed and busy dumping, strewing about and redesigning these objects across the floor and beds into what I can only humorously call with tongue in cheek, "Play Residue!"

So I'm not quite there yet where I can fully let go of a need to control the space I call our home. I can't stand messes and for better or for worse, I know this anxiety of mine stems from how others in my life portrayed the word "mess." I also see how that anxiety spilled onto S early in our lives together. The first time he threw up, he was not upset or scared about the icky feeling or pain; he was worried about the "mess." Y bids us farewell from his bed each night and nap time with a reminder (seemingly to himself) to "No make mess!" I can't live in filth and for our safety and sanity I do need to somewhat manage the clutter. But I can strive to see things through another lens--through my children's eyes--that what might look like mess to me could be a masterpiece in progress to them. We will probably always be navigating this challenge in one way or another and in between those moments of problem solving, pondering, revisiting and re-framing, we will also always be happily playing! That is their work and therefore it is also mine.

Happy Playing!